Emotional abuse in a relationship is no less serious than physical abuse. According to Helpguide.org, emotional abuse is frequently minimized but it can leave scars that are deep and long-lasting. If you are involved in an abusive relationship or you know someone who you think might be, you can call the National Domestic Violence Helpline (NDVH).
Controlling
According to the NDVH, you may be involved in an emotionally abusive relationship if you partner exhibits behaviors such as intimidation, coercion, possessiveness and jealousy. Your partner may withhold money, affection or sex in an attempt to control you or to get you to submit to their wants and desires. He may accuse you of things you haven't done. Perhaps your partner expects you to ask permission whenever you want to do something without him, whether it is seeing your family or friends or going out shopping by yourself. He may try to isolate you from your entire social support system. He may monitor your Internet or telephone usage, open your mail, or show up at your workplace to follow you home.
Humiliating
According to Dianne Hales in her book "An Invitation to Health," emotional abuse often takes the form of constant belittling and berating. Your partner may criticize you, call you names or insult you either in front of others or in private. He may tell you how to act and what to wear. He may try to humiliate you by making fun of you or suggesting that you are stupid, ugly or worthless. Whatever he does or says makes you feel badly about yourself. In addition, he may deny or trivialize what you say, acting as though he says it for your own benefit or that he's only trying to help you with his comments or "advice."
Blaming
According to Hales, your partner may make you feel as though you are to blame for his behavior. He may tell you things such as "If you didn't push my buttons, I wouldn't yell at you" or "I can't help it if I can't control myself, you just make me so angry." He may try to get you to accept responsibility for his craziness to the point where you wonder if you are actually going crazy or losing your mind. You may feel trapped in the relationship or think that there is no way out because on some level, you may feel as if you are to blame for the situation you're in.
References
- Helpguide.org: Domestic Violence and Abuse
- NDVH: What is Domestic Violence?
- "An Invitation to Health;" Dianne Hales; 2008
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
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