It sometimes feels as though there is something wrong in your romance. You were once a happy couple who had eyes only for each other. Now, you sense there has been a fundamental change. You wonder if your spouse has found another. Infidelity is one of the most common and devastating events that can occur in a relationship. Suspicion is not enough to condemn your lover, however, as proof is required. Find out how to know for sure your significant other is cheating.
Hiding Things
When someone cheats, he has a propensity to hide things from his partner, Cosmopolitan says. Your lover may declare a need for privacy he didn't exhibit previously in the relationship. He may hide a cell phone, wallet or pocketbook, and change the password on an Internet account. You may witness him leaving the room when he receives a phone call. Anytime a partner becomes suddenly secretive, your radar should be alerted to the possibility of cheating.
Isolating You from Others
A cheating partner may have friends, co-workers or family members that are aware of her indiscretions. She may attempt to isolate your interaction with others because they know her secret. For instance, she may exclude you from office parties where news of her affair may leak out, or insist you stay home instead of going out to dinner with mutual friends for the same reason.
Sprucing Up
According to family therapist John Gray, it is grounds for suspicion when your partner begins to work on improving his looks. A man who buys new clothes and underwear may be sprucing himself up for a new romantic interest. This is especially true for someone who has always let his partner do his shopping before. A cheater may be more careful about his hygiene, and may begin wearing cologne and getting more frequent haircuts.
Extra Time Away from Home
Family therapist Gray contends that when your mate begins to spend extra time away from home, the reason may be an affair. When a lover goes away for "work" trips or says she is working late at the office, it may be an indication that she has a started an affair. If she tells you she needs space, or wants time to discover herself, you have reason to question her motives. Cheaters need to find time to spend with their lovers, so they will go out of their way to makes excuses to be away from you.
Inconsistencies
Cheaters have many details to remember as they concoct stories to keep their partners in the dark. It is likely, with all the lies they tell, that they will often slip up and reveal something. For example, your mate may say he was at a dinner with a friend, but when you ask about it later, he may say he was at a baseball game. Listen closely for consistency to what your partner says if you suspect him of infidelity.
Your Sex Life Dwindles
When your partner starts showing little interest in having sex with you, it may be because she is involved in a sexual relationship with someone else. She may not have the energy to keep two sexual relationships going, especially as bedroom activities with a new lover tend to be very intense. If you find your sex life dwindling, you may need to question whether your mate is cheating.
Unaccounted For Expenditures
Cheaters may have to finance their affairs by paying for hotel rooms, dinners, gifts or a secret cell phone. Check all incoming mail for evidence of unaccounted for expenditures. Turn pockets inside out, and go through dresser drawers for receipts. If you find unusual withdraws for your bank accounts, you need to confront your mate right away.
Extended Time on Computer
A partner's spending an inordinate amount of time using a computer is a red flag that something may be going on. While your mate may insist he is working, it may be time to check chat histories and emails. You may want to invest in a computer program that will show everyplace a user has gone online. This is especially important if the one you love is sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night to go online.
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