Children are likely to engage in defiant behaviors from time to time. Defiance can be triggered by things such as fatigue, stress or a general feeling of being upset, and it is usually noticeable in 2 to 3 year olds, reports the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, or AACAP. However, if not prevented or dealt with appropriately, defiance can escalate into a serious mental health condition known as oppositional defiant disorder, or ODD.
Signs and Symptoms
According to the AACAP, signs of defiance include refusal to comply with requests from adults, temper tantrums, talking back, disobeying rules, questioning authority, mean or hateful verbage when talking, blaming others for mistakes, deliberate attempts to annoy others and displays of spiteful behaviors. AACAP says that this behavior is classified as ODD when there is an ongoing pattern of defiance that presents across multiple settings, such as home and school.
Causes
According to the Mayo Clinic, why some children are more defiant than others is mostly unknown, but it is thought to come from a combination of environmental factors and genetics. The Mayo Clinic reports that some of the contributing factors include a natural disposition toward defiance; developmental delays; lack of supervision as a child; discipline that is excessive, harsh and most times inconsistent; an imbalance of certain chemicals in the brain, such as serotonin; and a history of abuse or neglect.
Parenting
According to the Mayo Clinic, there are steps you can take as a parent to help deal with and deter defiant behaviors. These can include modeling positive behaviors, providing consistent praise for good behaviors, enforcing consequences and making sure your child understands why she is in trouble, giving your child the structure of a routine, not getting into power struggles with your child, ensuring that you and your partner are disciplining the same way, setting aside quality time to spend with your child that will be fun and enjoyable, and giving your child a way to feel regularly successful, such as by giving her an achievable household chore.
Treatment
Getting treatment for your child's defiant behaviors will depend on the severity of his defiance. If your child is displaying normal childhood defiance, you can address this yourself by setting up structure, rules and boundaries, but if your child's defiance is more severe, therapy and medication might be necessary. According to AACAP, treatment can include parent management training programs that teach you skills to manage behaviors, individual therapy to help your child develop effective anger management skills, and family therapy to improve communication and understanding. If you think your child might be a candidate for treatment, talk with your doctor or mental health provider regarding your concerns.
Prevention/Solution
Preventing defiant behavior is the most effective way to deal with defiance. Ways you can prevent defiance and stop it from escalating include surrounding your child with structure and routine, preventing child abuse and neglect or being a safe person for your child to talk to if abuse happens, enforcing consequences consistently--do not ignore behaviors sometimes and correct them other times--and providing regular praise and support to make sure your child feel successful and wanted.
