Grief is something we all must deal with at some point. It is a difficult and painful process, something that no two people experience in the same way. Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, author of the book "On Death and Dying," identified five stages to the grieving process. The model applies both to people who have suffered a loss and those who are dying of a terminal illness.
Denial
The first stage of grief is denial, or isolating yourself in an attempt to pretend the loss did not happen. At this point, people often are shocked and overwhelmed by the loss. They haven't had a chance to come to terms with it. People who are in denial may have trouble making it through the day or may feel as though they cannot go on in life. It's not unusual for people in this stage to withdraw socially, even from close friends or family members.
As with all the stages of grief, people can be in denial for days or even months or years, according to the University of Pennsylvania Health System. The time a person spends in each stage varies among individuals. There is no correct amount of time to spend grieving.
Anger
After denial comes anger, a period in which a person becomes enraged at the person who has died or the person or situation that caused the loss. This reaction can seem inappropriate, but it is an important part of the process. Some people become mad at their loved one, but others are mad at the world itself for creating the loss. Pain over the loss is what causes the anger, according to the Kubler-Ross's studies. Anger can be internalized, but some people also take it out on friends, family members and others in their lives.
Bargaining
The third part of Kubler-Ross's grieving process is bargaining. This stage is particularly prominent in people who are suffering with a terminal illness or are close to someone with a terminal illness. People will often make deals with God or another high power, promising something in return for allowing their loved one to get better. Others will bargain over the pain they feel because of the loss, promising something in return for making the pain go away.
Depression
Depression is the fourth stage of grief, but this is not the same as clinical depression. Instead, depression in grief is a sadness caused by the loss. Depression is a normal response to loss because the loss is sad and can be devastating. The depression often feels as though it is deepening over time, and people who are in this stage may feel like it will never end.
Acceptance
The final stage of the grieving process is acceptance. At this point, the sadness and feelings of hopelessness have diminished, but it does not mean you are OK with what has happened. Most people will always feel a sense of loss after losing someone close to them. When a person reaches the point of acceptance, though, they are ready to move on and start living life without their loved one.
