Although every situation is unique, many in the know about dating and relationships agree that there are classic signs that your girlfriend isn't honoring her promise to be involved with only you. It wouldn't be wise to jump to conclusions based on any of these signs or to become too engaged in looking for them. You could be misinterpreting. In the end, honest, civil communication is always the best policy to determine if there is a problem in your relationship--namely, another man.
Withdrawal
A general withdrawal from your relationship is often a sign that someone else is involved, author Anthony DeLorenzo says in his book "28 Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse." A girlfriend may stop calling or texting as often as she used to or may not want to spend as much time with you. If she is, indeed, cheating on you, she may be withdrawing because she prefers to spend more time and energy with the other person.
A Distancing in Intimacy
Your girlfriend may seem to be distant when it comes to physical intimacy if she's cheating. She may come up with plausible reasons to avoid intimacy or end lovemaking as quickly as possible. It's likely that she feels conflicted about making love with both you and her new boyfriend.
Missing in Action
If your girlfriend is, indeed, cheating on you, she's probably finding times and places to meet with her new interest. She may go missing for an hour or more, unavailable to receive your phone calls or texts and unseen by other people. If you're noticing this, and it seems to be happening more frequently, you could have reason to be suspicious. Taking "business trips" when business travel isn't normally part of her job or taking longer business trips than the office scheduled are also signs that "something is going on" out of town, and it's not business.
Changes in Habits
It's only natural that if your girlfriend is involved with someone new, she may take a liking to his tastes and preferences, if only subconsciously. If she previously eschewed perfume, and now she's wearing a certain fragrance all the time, that could be a sign. Abrupt changes in music, foods and other interests could be a sign that something much more significant has changed.
A New Friend
Some girlfriends who are cheating try to find ways to make the new person part of their social lives, according to DeLorenzo. This ploy makes it easier to explain interactions with that person--such as all the lunches they are sharing. This plan often backfires, because you may be able to tell that there is more to the relationship when you see them together.
Disagreements
If a girlfriend is cheating, she may become increasingly hostile toward you over time, as she compares the new and idyllic relationship with the relationship with you. She may pick arguments over things about which you used to agree. She may find fault with the way you treat her. This may be a sign that her new interest is making her less reliant on your love and attention. It can also be an attempt to emotionally separate from you.
Cell Phones and Emails
People who are cheating can do a very bad job of hiding the evidence--especially when it comes to the ticking time bomb that's always with them. As golfer Tiger Woods so publicly illustrated, cell phone activity can mean your loved one is cheating.
References
- Professor's House: Is She Cheating on Me?
- Infidelity: 6 Signs You Have a Cheating Wife
- "28 Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse"; Anthony Delorenzo and Dawn M. Ricci; 1998
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