Definition Of Lack Of Self Confidence

Perhaps one of the heaviest weights you can bear as you go through life is lack of self-confidence. If there ever was an invisible, but real yoke around your neck, it is this. Lack of self-confidence can stifle you from any form of personal growth, lock you into a disappoinng life, cause you to be at the mercy of other people's thoughts and opinions, and keep you from taking responsibility for your own thoughts and actions.

What's Missing?

"As a man thinketh, so is he", is a well-accepted truism throughout the ages. Using this line of thought, Dr. Wayne Dyer in "The Power of Intention" states that one of the things you may dwell upon when suffering from lack of self-confidence is what is missing in your life. He points out that what you think about expands. Since you may be constantly dwelling on what you don't have, you create a vicious circle of attracting more of what you don't have.

Your Circumstances

You may have a life filled with strife, and according to Dr. Dyer, another element of having no self-confidence is that you may be constantly thinking about the circumstances in your life. This constant dwelling upon the stressful things in your life literally creates a roadblock in your path to finding self-confidence. Most of the time this also creates a sense of guilt, and blaming yourself for all of the bad things that are seemingly happening to you all of the time.

What Has Always Been

You may think to yourself, "My whole family has always been poor, and I guess I will be too." This is a perfect example of the inner thought of a person without self-confidence. You are once again dwelling on what, in your mind, is an unmovable wall, because you think that's the way it's always been. Dyer notes that you are again using your inner speech to create negativity in your life, and putting no effort to establishing self-confidence.

Pressure From Others

Both Wayne Dyer and the University of Buffalo Counseling Services agree that another aspect of lacking self-confidence is succumbing to pressure from other people. This especially occurs when people close to you, such as family members, tell you what they think you should do with your life. By constantly giving in to their demands, and not following your own path, you are actually giving away your freedom of choice and allowing others to control you. This tends to happen to people with no self-confidence, and perpetuates a continuous cycle of self-defeating thoughts and actions.

Cautions and Possibilities

Staying in the mode of no self-confidence can literally have disastrous results. The continual pressures of other people opinions, feelings of lack of control, blaming others, and thinking too much about the negative things in your life, can lead to depression, violence, drug and alcohol abuse, and even suicide.
The upside of things is there are many professional counseling services that can guide you to a positive change in your paradigm to one of having and living with self-confidence. Countless self-books, classes and seminars are also available to help you permanently change into the self-confident person you've always desired to be.