Because marriages are dynamic relationships, periodic conflict is inevitable. When the quality of your marriage is damaged by ongoing bitterness, disappointment and anger, intervention may help to manage your conflict. Marriage counseling can help get you and your spouse back on track. Marriage counseling programs differ in their approach, but most share similar goals of bettering your relationship through improved communication and problem-solving skills. By familiarizing yourself with your options, you can find the program that best addresses your needs.
Faith-Based Counseling
A faith-based counseling program is conducted by your church leader. To initiate counseling, contact your pastor and ask to meet with her. Subsequent appointments are generally made on a weekly basis, according to your needs. Faith-based counseling is a good option for people with limited financial resources, because counseling done with a church leader is usually free of charge. Also, because your clergy person knows you and your spouse, she maybe in a good position to help you meet your goals for your marriage. A disadvantage of faith-based counseling is that your church leader may not have the education or specialized training of a licensed therapist.
Professional Therapy
Another program option is professional therapy. According to the Mayo Clinic website, couples work together in joint sessions to resolve marital conflicts and improve relationship skills. Many couples schedule weekly visits with their therapist until they feel their problems are resolved. Referrals can be obtained from your insurance provider or your physician. You could also ask a family member or a friend to recommend a therapist. Before starting treatment, ask your therapist about his educational background and if he is licensed and credentialed. A professional therapy program is more expensive than a faith-based alternative, but a licensed therapist has the advantage of education and training. For severe problems, professional therapy may be the most appropriate choice. If costs are a concern, check with your insurance carrier about your mental health benefits or find out whether treatment is offered on a sliding-scale basis.
Intensive Marriage Counseling
For couples who prefer an alternative to weekly counseling sessions, an intensive marriage counseling program is another option. The National Institute of Marriage, or NIM, offers two-day and four-day programs. Couples are required to travel to a private location and participate in day-long counseling sessions as part of a small group overseen by marriage counselors. The NIM contends this approach to therapy is more effective than traditional counseling because a couple is taken out of their everyday environment and given the opportunity to focus all of their time and attention on their marriage. Intensive counseling is fee-based. Check with your insurance carrier for coverage options.
Self-Help Programs
For couples who prefer to work through their issues without third-party involvement, self-help programs are available. Books, CDs and online courses identify a number of common marital problems, address them in lecture or essay format and suggest exercises you and your spouse can do together to build intimacy and improve communication. The costs for self-help programs are significantly less than traditional therapy or intensive counseling. However, with self-help therapy there is no counselor to act as a mediator between you and your spouse should discussions become heated. When a relationship is so contentious that you are unable to communicate with each other without fighting, a self-help program is minimally effective at best. Furthermore, the scope of therapy is limited to what the author or creator of the program has deemed most important. It may not address your particular concerns.
