The renowned French author and philosopher Voltaire once stated, "Tears are the silent language of grief." While tears do express sorrow and grief, the language of mourning has many additional intense emotional aspects, or stages. Although the common destination is acceptance, the journey through grief is extraordinarily personal. Understanding the grief process as unique allows you to discover your own pace, coping mechanisms and healing path.
Time Frame
Society often attempts to assign a specific time frame for grieving. Predetermined periods are allotted to pay respects or bury loved ones, yet sorrow may persistently linger long after the event. Regardless of the loss, whether it's a divorce, death or unwanted career change, grief recovery can be an extensive process. "You must be allowed--even encouraged--to mourn long after burial," says Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD). Listen to your own internal emotional clock and take the time you need to heal.
Misconceptions
Most people are familiar with grief models--or stages of grief--that identify common emotional responses to grief. A widespread misunderstanding regarding grief recovery is that you must "work through" each stage. If you're mourning, it's helpful to view grief stages as educational tools, not sequential patterns for overcoming loss. Be informed about potential emotions evoked by loss, but don't allow yourself to be constrained by grief models or try to anticipate feeling each emotion.
Acceptance
According to Psych Central, "Though some feelings of loss may never fully go away, the most intense signs and symptoms of grief typically diminish over time, within six months or so." Acceptance doesn't mean you won't feel any more pain. In some cases, the pain only gradually fades. In particularly traumatic losses, acceptance is never without deep anguish. Factors such as your personal coping skills, spiritual background and support group may soften the sorrow, but like other facets of grieving, even acceptance is uniquely defined by each individual.
Cultural Effects
Expressions of grief are numerous and diverse, and often affected by culture. When grieving, you may lapse, without being aware, into the reassuring realm of early-childhood customs and rituals. Your cultural world view may affect your grieving and can reflect various values, traditions or belief systems or your own individual adaptation of these. "Even given cultural norms and expectations, people need to grieve in ways that feel right to them," says Cancer.Net.
Coping Methods
Whether being involved in a support group or finding solace in artistic expression, releasing pain and learning to cope in healthy ways are entirely distinctive. Your lifestyle, talents and personality will influence how you work through grief. Many people need a variety of grief outlets to accommodate rapidly changing emotions. Drawing on previous coping mechanisms and seeking the advice of others can be beneficial, but only you can choose the best way to work through your grief.
