Spousal abuse is a behavior pattern in which one partner uses physical, sexual or emotional violence to control the actions of the other partner. Examples of abusive behavior include pushing, choking, damaging property, vicious insults, isolation and forced sexual contact. Many communities are standing up against domestic violence by offering help to those abused and raising awareness about this problem that affects people of every class, race, religion, sexual orientation, education level and gender.
A Safety Plan
If you are in an abusive relationship, The National Domestic Violence Hotline website recommends that you devise a safety plan to minimize the risk of injury in the event of a violent outburst. Such a plan might include identifying areas of the house where there are no weapons, so if an argument ensues, you can try to steer towards those areas. If violence occurs, curl up in a corner and protect your face and head by clasping your hands together behind your head. If children are present, distance yourself from them to keep your spouse from harming them as well.
Getting Out
There are several preparatory steps you can take when planning to leaving an abusive partner. Contact a local women's shelter to learn what resources are available in your area and tell someone you trust about your situation. Keep journals of each violent incident and, if injured, go to the emergency room and ask that they document your injury. Try to set some money aside and take classes to acquire job skills, if possible. When you are ready to leave, gather important documents like pay stubs, passports, medical records and welfare identification. You can also call the police and ask for an escort while you leave.
Offering Help
It is difficult to watch someone you care about endure an abusive relationship, but ultimately they have to make the decision to leave themselves. You can, however, help your friend to see his or her partner's behavior as abuse that is not going to get better. Let her know that you are worried for her safety and are available to assist. Encourage him or her to get involved in activities outside of the relationship and to seek counseling or a support group.
Men's Anti-Violence Organizations
Numerous local and national men's anti-violence groups exist whose mission is to promote non-violence in intimate partnerships. Through workshops and outreach presentations, these groups encourage men and boys to find healthy expressions of masculinity that do not include controlling or domineering behavior and to take a stand when they witness violent behavior in other men. Many also work with the batterers themselves to help them take responsibility for their actions and to explore alternatives to violent behavior.
Community Action
The United States Department of Agriculture's Safety, Health and Employee Welfare Division encourages communities to take action against domestic violence. As an individual citizen, you can raise awareness about domestic abuse by inviting experts to speak on the topic at civic events and religious organizations. Offer your support to local shelters and counseling centers and if you witness evidence of domestic violence in your community, contact the police. Neighborhood watch associations can include vigilance for domestic violence as well.
References
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: Personal Safety With An Abuser
- USDA. gov: Domestic Violence Awareness Handbook
- Men Stopping Violence: Intervene With Violent Men
- A Call To Men: 10 Things Men Can Do In Domestic and Sexual Violence Prevention
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: How Can I Help A Friend



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