Whether your toddler is prone to snatching things from other children or your grade-schooler fights with another child at school, you might wonder whether her aggression is normal---and whether you can prevent or eliminate these types of behaviors. While mild aggression at some ages and stages is normal, a pattern of hostile or aggressive behavior in older children can indicate a behavior disorder that might need professional intervention.
Significance
Aggression is a learned behavior, according to Katherine DeBord, a child development specialist at the University of North Carolina. While an individual's temperament and gender can affect his ability to effectively manage angry impulses, societal and cultural factors also play a role in the development of these types of behaviors.
Time Frame
The acceptability and normalcy of aggression varies greatly according to the age of a child. Toddlers and young preschoolers often fight over toys, but physical confrontations usually lessen as children become increasingly verbal. DeBord states that most children lose the urge to physically attack or confront others sometime between first and third grade. While sibling-on-sibling violence might still occur, most children control themselves at school.
Considerations
Reducing your child's exposure to TV and video games might help limit aggressive behaviors, according to a 2001 study detailed in "American Family Physician." Children whose screen and media time clocked in at less than seven hours a week exhibited less physical and verbal aggressive behaviors and were less likely to view the world as a "mean and scary place."
Misconceptions
Spanking a child leads to more aggression---not less, cautions Catherine Taylor, an assistant professor of community health sciences at Tulane University's School of Public Health and Tropical Medicine in New Orleans and co-author of a 2010 study on aggression and corporal punishment. She recommends parents focus on positive forms of discipline, such as positive reinforcement, instead of using physical punishment.
Prevention/Solution
Help children manage their aggression by modeling self-control and teaching them effective anger management techniques, such as counting to 10 before acting, using their words to talk it out and leaving the room or situation before they lose control. Monitor their screen time and avoid exposing them to violent movies, TV shows and video games. Provide plenty of praise for positive behaviors, while reacting consistently to negative ones. Make your child aware of the types of behaviors you expect from her and monitor her social encounters to verify she behaves appropriately.
If your child or teen exhibits a constant pattern of hostile, negative or destructive aggressive behaviors that last for more than six months, talk to her doctor. He can usually recommend testing and treatment options for your child.
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