Separation and divorce affects parents and children involved, causing stress and a range of emotions. Feelings of resentment or anger between the parents creates friction and makes co-parenting a challenge in many divorces. Identifying the potential difficulties in parenting allows you to confront the issues to make the divorce easier on the children involved.
Handling Emotions
Children often experience negative emotions associated with the divorce. Sadness, frustration, anger and anxiety are common feelings for kids, according to the KidsHealth website. Parents deal with their own emotions, such as anger, betrayal or sadness, depending on the situation surrounding the separation or divorce. Dealing with the emotions, yours and your children's, becomes an issue for divorcing parents. Keeping your own feelings under control, particularly the negative feelings you experience toward your ex, benefits the kids. Help the children understand that the divorce was not their fault. Talking about the emotions or visiting a counselor helps the kids process their experience.
Discipline
Varying opinions on disciplining children may cause an issue during a separation or divorce, according to North Dakota State University. An inconsistency in discipline sends the children mixed signals and may cause them to challenge one or both parents. Discuss your differences in discipline style to find some common ground and consistency. A counselor or mediator may offer some guidance in managing discipline differences.
Allowed Activities
Another difference in parenting styles that may cause issues is the types of activities allowed for the children. If one parent is more lenient when it comes to things such as a teenager dating or the types of clothing she can wear, the more reserved parent will likely become upset. Like the discipline issue, talking about what types of activities and behaviors are acceptable allows for more consistency.
Special Occasions
Custody arrangements create sticky situations for separated or divorcing parents. Once the custody agreement is set, you'll also need to consider holidays and other special occasions. It's natural for both parents to want time with the children on those special days. Taking turns or splitting custody on those days helps alleviate some of the difficulty.
Child Adjustment
A divorce turns a child's world upside down, changing her living arrangements, daily routines and other basic elements of her life. She may have difficulty adjusting to the new family structure. Going back and forth between two different homes also creates a feeling of instability in some children.
Medical, Educational, Religious Decisions
Many decisions in a child's life become more complicated when parents are divorced or separated. If there is tension between the parents because of the separation, there may be more difficulty in agreeing on decisions, such as appropriate medical care, school choice or the type of religious experience the child should have, according to North Dakota State University. These issues become more of an issue if the parents have vastly different opinions on the topics.
