The divorce rate in the United States continues to hover at around 50 percent, though data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention suggest that the rate has declined over the last decade. There are several common reasons couples cite for getting divorced, but many of these issues stem from the same underlying problems. Understanding why so many marriages end in divorce may help couples prevent or recognize early signs of deterioration in their relationship.
Disillusionment
Perhaps at the root of the majority of marital problems that lead to divorce is a gradual decrease in feelings of love between partners. In 1981, Dr. Ted Houston began a 13-year study of newly married couples. Over time, the study revealed that a decrease in the perceived amount of love and satisfaction in the relationship was a more reliable indicator than marital strife and conflict in predicting marriage failure. Houston felt that fading love and growing dissatisfaction led to the resentment, anger and apathy that often manifests as negative interaction.
Houston's study found that couples who date for a brief time before getting married are more likely to have unrealistic expectations and become disappointed in the marriage. These couples often expect marriage to resemble a Hollywood romance and feel cheated when reality sets in. This disillusionment with the marriage may explain why many couples cite incompatibility or "irreconcilable differences" as a reason for divorce.
Communication Problems
According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, inadequate communication or incompatible methods of communication may cause many of the other marital problems leading to divorce.
Problematic communication methods include passive-aggressive behavior, reacting in anger, bringing up past arguments and arguing in front of others.
External Stress
Spouses often encounter sources of stress outside the marriage, like problems at work, financial issues, health problems, and disputes with other family members. If these stressors are not handled in a healthy, constructive way, they often have a negative effect on the marriage. The stressed spouse may take out her frustrations on her partner, starting a domino effect of anger and resentment.
Adultery is another external stressor that is detrimental to a marriage. However, infidelity is usually a symptom of other problems in the marriage, such as lack of communication. The AAML finds that infidelity typically indicates dissatisfaction in some aspect of the marriage.
