The decision to put your child up for adoption is one that will affect you, your child and your family for the rest of your lives. It is likely the hardest decision you will ever make. As such, it is essential that you inform yourself so that you can make the best possible choice. Be advised that state adoption laws vary widely. Be sure to research the regulations in your state before beginning adoption proceedings.
Benefits
According to the American Pregnancy Association, there are a number of potential benefits available for birth mothers considering adoption, including counseling and support; paid prenatal, delivery and legal expenses; superior medical care; and even housing assistance.
Statistics
Adoption was once a clandestine operation that afforded birth mothers few options. Today, it is an open process that is much more sensitive to birth mothers' needs. According to a 2006 research study by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, an estimated 90 percent of today's birth parents meet their child's adoptive parents face to face, and the majority of the rest choose prospective parents from written profiles.
The study also notes that the demographics of birth mothers have changed. Once the majority, teenagers now represent only 25 percent of birth mothers. Many birth mothers today are women in their 20s, many of whom already have other children.
Types
Adoptions can be open or closed. Adoption Services defines an open adoption as one in which birth parents and adoptive parents exchange identifying information so that they can maintain contact. The level of contact is up to them, and can range from yearly photos and updates to frequent visits. In addition, open adoptions allow birth parents to be involved in the process of choosing adoptive parents. In closed adoptions, information on birth parents is sealed, and there is no contact between a child and his birth parents. Most states allow either type of adoption, although some mandate one or the other. Both types of adoption may be done either through an agency or independently.
Parental Rights
When you place your child for adoption, you permanently give up your parental rights. Surrendering your parental rights is a very serious decision that deserves careful consideration. Most states will not allow you to formally consent to an adoption until after your baby is born. Many states will allow you to revoke consent within a certain time period--usually a matter of days--while some states won't allow birth parents to revoke consent at all unless there is proof of fraud or legal mismanagement.
Considerations
Family, friends and even some agencies may have strong feelings about your situation, and may pressure you into a decision that they feel is right. However, the decision to place your child for adoption is yours, and you should do what you feel is best.
If you have given up your child for adoption, you may feel a combination of grief, guilt and anxiety. This is normal and expected, and doesn't mean that you have made the wrong decision. It's important that you work through these feelings. The Adoption Institute recommends that all birth mothers undergo counseling to address their unique emotional needs..
