A cheating husband can destroy your relationship and damage your self-image and self-esteem. The deception he uses can further compromise your trust in others, and even lead you to question your own judgment. Given all of this, catching him in the act and forcing him to deal with the consequences can be a rewarding first step toward the process of rebuilding your faith in relationships and trust in others.
Check His Phone and Email
Email and text messages are popular ways for cheaters to make plans, flirt and talk behind their spouses’ backs. In some cases, your husband may accidentally send you a text that was meant for his mistress. In an article by the Sydney Morning Herald, nearly one in five people admitted to sending a flirty or otherwise inappropriate text message to the wrong person. More often, you will have to sneak a look at his phone when he’s not around. Some famous cases of cheating partners, including those of Tiger Woods and Jesse James, have been uncovered by reading their text messages.
Keep the Same Circles of Friends
Knowing and socializing with the same groups of people can both deter cheating and enable you to catch him when it happens. If your husband behaves suspiciously, you may find by talking to your mutual friends that another person you know is being equally suspicious, or if the cheating couple is frequently seen together under dubious circumstances. While this isn’t enough to convict him of cheating, tracking down his potential collaborator can provide you with hints, let you know what else to watch for, or help you find allies in people who are also affected by the misbehavior.
Come Home Unexpectedly
If you suspect he is cheating in your own home, take a half day off from work or tell him you're planning a social night out with friends. Stay close to the house, but remain hidden and inconspicuous. If he invites his mistress into your home, you may be able to catch them in some compromising activities.
Talk to His Co-Workers
If he is cheating with someone at work, and you're on good terms with his co-workers, they may be willing to tell you. They may also give him away accidentally, by telling you he went to lunch with someone else or took time off from work with another person in the office. Find a reason to call him at work during random times during the day and ask for him by name. If he is unavailable, calmly and pleasantly ask where he is, who he is with and when they expect him back.
Follow Him to the Scene of the Crime
You can find out where he goes when he's cheating by many of the methods above. His co-workers or his text messages may give him away. If you learn of a planned rendezvous with his mistress, follow him inconspicuously and confront him there.