Effective communication is a solid foundation to build your relationship upon. Some couples foster good communication from the beginning of the relationship, while others learn the importance of communication later. Regardless of how long you've been together, practicing communication strategies can help you to find increased satisfaction. Learning to listen and use your words effectively will provide a stronger foundation for your relationship.
Reflective Listening
The Oregon State University Extension recommends that you listen with both your ears and your face. Reflective listening shows your partner that you're engaged in what he or she is saying, and your facial expressions show that you care. Through reflective listening, you listen to the tone of a partner's voice and watch their face. Then, reflect those tones and facial expressions as you repeat back the general idea of what's been said.
Feedback
At times, you may be communicating and not getting through to your partner. It's a good idea to ask your partner for communication feedback from time to time, suggests YourMarriageCounselor.com. After you've talked about an important subject, ask how your partner felt about what you said and how well they think you conveyed your message. It could be that your communication improves when you adjust it according to the feedback and change your tone, choose better timing or deliver a clearer message.
"I" Statements
Too often communication becomes a blaming match between both partners. It can be difficult to take responsibility for your own actions, especially when you feel hurt by your partner. An effective strategy for improving your communication is to use "I" statements when talking to your partner. Instead of saying "You ignored me at the barbecue and acted like a jerk," say "I was upset when I was standing alone at the barbecue." It gives you the opportunity to take responsibility for your actions and reactions and avoid blaming your partner.
Understand vs. Understood
When communicating with your partner, you desperately want to be understood and for your point to be taken seriously. Still, your job when communicating is also to understand your partner's point of view. Instead of worrying so much about being understood, seek to understand what your partner is saying and feeling, suggests Theravive.com. You may find that when you work at understanding, your partner extends the same courtesy to you and it becomes a win-win situation.
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