Change, whether in the form of small changes, like the move to a new grade in school--or larger ones resulting from a divorce, death, move or military deployment, can unsettle your child and disrupt his regular routines. Children often find comfort in sameness, which is why your child might want to read the same book every night or insist on watching his favorite movie repeatedly. By providing tools to help your child deal with change you can ease his adjustment.
Preparation and Advance Notice
Giving your child as much notice about the change as possible can help her prepare for it. If you plan to move to a new place, buy a book on her new home town and read it together. Operation Military Kids, an agency that helps military children adjust to moves and family deployments, recommends letting your child pick out the colors for her new bedroom if possible and allowing her to choose her clothing and school supplies for the first day at her new school. They state that giving your child some control over the situation can help make her feel more in control of her life.
Regular Routines
Work hard to preserve your family's regular routines, such as those surrounding meal times, bed times, TV and family meals. While many of these routines might get broken, the existence and adherence to as many regular routines as possible can give children a sense of stability. If your family participates in regular family traditions, such as special meals or activities, keep up these traditions even if some family members are missing. The Zero to Three Organization, a national center for infants, toddlers and families, suggests that these traditions can help maintain your family's identity and give family members a sense of purpose.
A Support Network
Build a supportive network made up of family, friends and community members, like teachers and pastors, who can listen to and support your child throughout the change. Children might sometimes be reluctant or unwilling to talk to parents about any of their negative feelings or emotions relating to the change. They might even blame their parents for the change, especially in cases of a divorce or move. The support network can offer them a safe outlet for processing these feelings. If your child is reluctant to talk to anybody about the change, Operation Military Kids advises giving him a journal and encouraging him to confide his feelings and emotions in it.
