Abuse & Jealousy

Abuse & Jealousy
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According to experts at Vanderbilt University, intimate partner violence and abuse are characterized by physically violent and emotionally coercive behaviors that give one partner control or power over another partner in an intimate relationship. Intimate partner violence includes physical actions such as pushing, hitting or strangling as well as threats of harm, and actions that socially or physically isolate an individual from friends or family. According to experts at Vanderbilt, feelings of jealousy are often used to justify the abuser's actions.

Power and Control in Abuse

The Vanderbilt experts note that abuse in a relationship is directly related to issues of power and control. An individual feels an overriding need to have control in the relationship, and he uses threats, name-calling, blaming, money or isolation to gain a sense of power over his partner. Experts note that these behaviors typically happen in an escalating cycle that typically ends in physically or sexually violent behavior.

Jealousy

Experts on abuse at the Mid-Valley Crisis Center in Oregon note that jealousy, alone, is note a factor that predicts violent or abusive behavior. In fact, Ayala M. Pines, Ph.D, a contributing writer for "Psychology Today," suggests that when jealousy is communicated and resolved in a constructive manner it is not necessarily harmful. However, when jealously requires a partner to limit her outside relationships and give up decision-making power to her partner it is a sign of a potentially abusive relationship. Partners who use jealousy as an excuse to control a partner's activities or friendships are often acting out of a need to feel control and power, which is, as Vanderbilt experts noted, the central predictive factor in abuse.

Patterns of Escalation

According to Planned Parenthood, controlling behavior in a relationship does not fix issues within the relationship, and without the proper support, the relationship problems are likely to escalate. Abusive language, excessive criticism, threats, blame and excessive jealousy can be the first signs of emotional abuse, and Planned Parenthood notes that the typical pattern of abuse escalates from this point to become increasingly more dangerous and physically violent.

Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

Planned Parenthood suggests that healthy relationships are characterized by mutual respect, honesty, trust, equality and effective communication. A healthy relationship will help both partners feel good about themselves and often give them a sense of security. In a healthy relationship, when jealous feelings occur the partners are able to communicate openly and respectfully about the issue. They are honest with each other, and they also trust each other, so it's more likely that the jealousy will be resolved in a constructive way.

Expert Insight on Abuse

Experts at Planned Parenthood and Vanderbilt University suggest that its is always important for victims of abuse to have a clear safety. If a partner is extremely jealous, controlling or threatening, it is critical to seek support from someone who is both trustworthy and qualified to help. Planned Parenthood notes that abusive behavior often gets worse after a victim leaves the relationship, so it is critical to have a safe place to stay and a support system in place.

References

Article reviewed by M.J. Ingram Last updated on: Jun 30, 2010

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