Many couples find that they need help at some point in their relationship. For some couples, seeking professional help feels quite daunting, stigmatizing or like something they "shouldn't" need. However, a competent couples therapist can help you work through communication difficulties, trust issues, ineffective arguing, infidelity, parenting issues, sexual problems and more.
Function
Relationship counseling, couples therapy, marriage counseling--all are terms for the same thing--a therapist helping a couple with difficulties in their relationship. Married or not, same sex or heterosexual, all couples struggle at various points during the course of their relationship with issues that seem insurmountable and that threaten the health of the relationship. Couples therapists practice from various modalities, including psychodynamic, cognitive-behavioral and emotionally focused, among others. GoodTherapy.org explains, "Regardless of the particular theoretical approach to marriage counseling, a couple's communication patterns are always explored in an effort to make positive changes. ... Marriage counselors know that one of the first steps in improving a relationship is to teach a couple how to regulate their emotions, stay calm and use healthy communication skills so that new problems and old problems can finally be resolved."
Features
In the first session, the therapist will try to get a sense of what brought you into therapy, what your history together is and what you are looking for from therapy. Unlike individual therapy, the couple is the patient, and while each partner is an individual with individual needs and feelings, it is the relationship that needs help, therefore the therapist remains as neutral as possible. GoodTherapy.org notes that the therapist will encourage you to look at negative behavior patterns you have established in your relationship, as well as external experiences affecting the relationship. These patterns usually show up during your sessions, and the therapist will encourage you to examine them to determine a more positive approach. On the logistical side, at or prior to the first session, the therapist will ascertain if she can help you and set up a fee for your session, and you will figure out scheduling. Usually couples therapy sessions happen once a week for 50 minutes, but this can vary.
The Couples Therapist
Couples therapists usually treat both individuals and couples but may specialize in working with couples. While there is no licensure in couples therapy specifically, marriage and family therapists--look for the MFT credential--often provide couples therapy and receive special training in this modality. Psychologists, clinical social workers and professional counselors also can provide relationship therapy. Therapists usually specify if this is an area of expertise. Some clergy offer guidance to couples in their communities as well, though this is not couples therapy, per se.
Considerations
The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy reports: "After receiving treatment, almost 90 percent of clients report an improvement in their emotional health, and nearly two-thirds report an improvement in their overall physical health. A majority of clients report an improvement in their functioning at work, and over three-fourths of those receiving marital/couples or family therapy report an improvement in the couple relationship." Couples therapist Dan Wile states that the goal of therapy is to improve communication skills, which are key to intimacy. Some couples come to couples counseling early on in their relationship to help sort out challenges before they grow into larger issues and to assess whether this relationship has the potential to last. Many couples come to therapy when their relationship has hit a very rocky patch, and help is more desperately needed. Couples therapists can effectively work with either situation, but the latter can take much longer to untangle longstanding problems and heal deeper issues.
Warning
Sometimes individual therapy can offer more help than couples therapy. In cases of domestic violence, substance abuse, serious psychological problems and certain other issues, couples therapy is not the treatment of choice and may even be contraindicated. In these cases, individual therapy for one or both partners is advised. For many couples, adjunct individual and couples therapy can prove very effective.
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