In the past, mothers were typically given sole custody of their children after a divorce. Today, American courts recognize the equal rights of both parents to petition for custody. More and more often, judges are awarding joint custody by default. It's important to understand your rights as a parent, and how joint custody can affect your family.
Types
There are two types of joint, or "shared," custody. According to Nolo, joint physical custody means that you and your ex-spouse each have the right to have your child live with you for extended periods of time Joint legal custody means that you and your ex-spouse share the right to make major decisions about how your child is raised, such as what school he will go to, what medical care he will receive during an illness, with whom he spends his time, and where he goes to worship.
Arrangements
You and your ex-spouse have the right to arrange your custody agreement yourselves. Ideally, you should strive to create an amicable agreement that both works for your family and keeps the best interest of your child in mind. Some parents trade off weekdays and weekends, some trade off months, seasons or school years, and some even trade entire years. No matter how well you are currently getting along with your ex-spouse, you should put your custody agreement in writing and have it sanctioned by the court. In addition, you should be careful to make any changes through the court.
Benefits
In an article for the Maryland People's Law Library, licensed clinical social worker and divorce mediator Rosalind Zinner outlines some of the most beneficial aspects of joint custody. She notes that continuous access to both parents diminishes the loss and rejection commonly felt by children after a divorce, and it allows children to build a strong relationship with each parent. Children whose parents have a cooperative, amicable relationship feel much more secure. There is also evidence that children may benefit materially Zinner states that, in 2001, 75 percent of fathers with joint physical custody paid their child support regularly, as opposed to 46 percent of fathers whose ex-wives had sole custody.
Drawbacks
Zinner also goes on to highlight the potential drawbacks of shared physical custody. She notes that maintaining two separate residences can be a financial strain on the family. Children can feel unsettled and insecure when they are passed back and forth from house to house. In addition, an acrimonious relationship between parents could create a hostile environment for their children.
Considerations
If you find yourself at odds with your ex-spouse over custody issues, you may benefit from hiring a mediator. A mediator is an unbiased third party that can help you diffuse family tensions and come to a reasonable agreement. If mediation doesn't work, a judge will create a custody order according to what he determines to be in the best interest of your child. He may do this in spite of your objections, without considering your wishes.
