Physical abuse receives much more attention than mental abuse, in part because it is much easier to identify. Nevertheless, mental abuse is quite common and can be just as damaging as physical abuse. Mental abuse often takes place within families because of the closeness and dependency of the people involved.
Inappropriate Dominance
It is acceptable and even necessary for an adult to exercise a certain degree of domination over a child. In the context of relationships between adults, however, domination is usually inappropriate. A domineering family member may insist upon his own way all the time and discount your thoughts, opinions and feelings, according to Brigham Young University Womens Services. He may hold you responsible for his happiness and automatically blame you if he is unhappy. He may attempt to persuade you to engage in activities that violate your personal values.
Verbal Abuse
Verbal abuse is characterized by negative labeling that attributes permanent negative personality characteristics to the victim, according to Steven Stosny, family therapist and author of "You Don't Have to Take It Anymore: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One." Common labels include lazy, selfish and inconsiderate. Labels such as loser and slut are also common. Abusers also utilize indirect labeling by expressing labels in the form of constructive criticism--"You need more exercise," for example, could be a covert way of saying "You're lazy." Although virtually all relationships include some degree of criticism or labeling, abusers rely primarily on these communication patterns.
Emotional Extortion
Emotional extortion is the practice of pushing your emotional hot buttons in order to manipulate your behavior, according to psychologist Carl Pickhardt. It is most common in the context of family relationships because family members are generally in a better position to become familiar with each other's emotional hot buttons than other people are. These hot buttons may include guilt, fear, religious faith or compassion. The abuser may also practice brinkmanship--the act of threatening to end the relationship or giving you the silent treatment in order to bend you to his will by triggering fear of abandonment.
Passive Aggression
Passive aggression is a long-term personality disorder in which a person is outwardly compliant and agreeable to your legitimate expectations but passively resists them, according to Medline Plus, a service administered by the U.S. National Institutes of Health. This results in progressively increasing hostility. A passive-aggressive person will often pretend to forget to perform obligations, procrastinate, and frequently complain and blame others.
Denial
An abuser will deny your personal needs as a way of punishing or manipulating you, according to BYU Womens Services. He will also deny having said or done hurtful things and may question your honesty, your memory or even your sanity if pressed. Attempting to deal with his abusive behavior becomes as difficult as smashing through a stone wall.
