More than 50 million people care for elderly family members or friends each year, according to Shannon Martin, a geriatric care manager for Aging Wisely, a national eldercare consulting firm. The emotional stress of caring for an ailing or demanding parent increases for those not prepared for the challenges of this difficult task. Fortunately, there are many resources and steps to help you care for your parents during their final years.
Clarify Your Legal Status
The more legal power you have to help and protect your parents, the more you can do for them. Discuss with them whether or not they want to grant you full power of attorney or limited legal rights to deal with issues such as health care or finance. Have them update their wills, including naming you or someone else as executor their estate, and naming your or another as the person who becomes their legal guardian in the event of their mental or physical disability. Have them clearly delineate what should happen in the event of a coma, brain death or other permanent life-altering situation that does not allow them to make their own decisions.
Be Proactive
Don't wait for situations to arise and then begin your search for resources or assistance. Plan ahead by preparing strategies to address the following areas of eldercare: housekeeping and yard work; creating a monthly budget and paying bills; grocery shopping and meal preparation; physical therapy and doctor visits; and ongoing legal and financial responsibilities. Meet with your parents' lawyer, doctor, physical therapists, estate executive, insurers, spiritual and financial advisers.
Gather Information
Make sure you have all information regarding their day-to-day living and long-term life needs easily accessible at their home and a second copy at your residence to help in the event of problems. For example, if an appliance breaks, your parents may have a home warranty that covers that. You may need to contact their landscaper, plumber, auto mechanic or other maintenance person. Have contact information to help with banking or credit card problems, filling a prescription, insurance claim and contacting neighbors. Keep two sets of important documents, including wills, insurance policies, banking information, medical histories and deeds.
Get Help
If you are not an expert on senior care and the problems associated with aging, meet with a professional in this area and have that person meet with your parents to assess their physical and emotional needs. While your parents may be in perfect mental health, an eldercare professional may note that your relationship with your parents may lead to problems, especially if your parents are critical or suspicious of you or if you are impatient with them or overprotective. An eldercare professional may also see warning signs in your parents' behavior you do not, such as hypochondria, memory loss, anxiety, resignation to imminent death, paranoia and anger
