Grieving a loss of a significant relationship, whether romantic or otherwise, is a normal and healthy process. There is no specific way to grieve, but there are common stages, theorized by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, that you might go through. These stages are the same stages you go through after a death and can occur in any order and for any duration of time. Some people may experience a flipping between two or more stages within minutes.
Denial
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, an expert on the grieving process and grieving stages, claims that denial is a stage in which you may deny that the loss has taken place. Dr. Kubler-Ross says that the denial stage allows you to pace your grieving, so that you are not overwhelmed right away.
Anger
You may begin to feel anger, according to Kubler-Ross, toward the person who inflicted the pain or toward your lost partner. You may feel angry with yourself for allowing your relationship to dwindle. Anger is a completely healthy feeling that uncovers your underlying pain.
Bargaining
The University of Pennsylvania Health System fact sheet on the stages of grief says that in the bargaining stage, you may begin bargaining with God or the universe to take away your pain or loss. Your thoughts may sound like, “I promise to never yell at him again if this relationship is rekindled.” This is a stage that is often very short, coming and going as you work your way through the grieving process.
Depression
Sadness during a grieving period can feel overwhelming at times, according to health website the Help Guide. Losing a relationship can make you feel as if you have not only lost a person, but you have lost shared dreams and promises. Your routine may feel disrupted or you may suffer from disappointment and stress. All of these emotions are part of grieving. The depression you may feel after losing a relationship is one that is deep and seemingly endless, but it will end. Grief is always temporary.
Acceptance
The acceptance of a loss or ended relationship does not equate with being happy about it. Dr. Kubler-Ross explains that when a person accepts a loss, he is accepting the reality of the situation, whether or not he likes it. Once you finally accept the reality of the loss, healing begins and you will see improvements in your mood, though you may never replace your lost relationship.
