Having a sense of hearing does not mean you can listen effectively. All you need to hear is ears to receive sound waves. On the other hand, listening requires active participation in a conversation. To listen effectively, you must work to understand and evaluate the message presented by a speaker before you respond.
Pay Attention
When another person is talking to you, don’t talk, don’t interrupt and don’t think. To listen effectively, you must give the speaker your undivided attention. This requires that you actively choose to listen and stop yourself from mentally preparing your response while the speaker talks.
Suspend Judgment
While you should hang on the other person’s every word, you should also dismiss judgments that may distract you from the topic at hand. Poor listeners can get caught up thinking about the other person’s clothes, appearance or delivery, warns Southern Nazarene University. If the other person says something you don’t agree with, try not to react immediately or disengage. Get as much information as possible before you draw conclusions.
Read Body Language
People communicate using more than just words. Their inflections, body language and facial expressions speak volumes, if you listen effectively. Try to understand the speaker’s feelings, and look for nonverbal cues. Resist the urge to fill silences with dialogue, advises the University of South Florida Counseling Center.
Use Time Management
Most people can speak approximately 100 words per minute, but they can think 400 words per minute, reports Southern Nazarene University. Use your time wisely, and don’t allow your thoughts to drift in and out of the conversation. Keep your mind on the conversation in one of three ways. First, try to anticipate the speaker’s point or direction, but be careful you don’t allow judgment to cloud your thoughts. Second, evaluate the speaker’s points and supporting evidence. Finally, mentally summarize what the speaker has said.
Respond Effectively
Rephrase and reflect on the essence of what a person said when you feel you might not understand completely or think you have misheard something. Acknowledge the speaker’s feelings and concerns, but don’t change or add to them. Ask questions like a journalist, using the words who, what, where, when, why and how. These open-ended questions cannot be answered with a “yes” or “no,” so they encourage deeper understanding. If you want to gather specific information, ask close-ended questions that the other person can answer with a few words.
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