The words you choose, the way you say them, the meanings you convey and your body language keep you communicating at all times. Awareness of the importance communication has in your daily life will help you make improvements to be a better verbal and nonverbal communicator. Effective communication skills have a positive impact on your self-esteem, as well as your work, social and family life.
Assertive vs. Passive Communication
Assertive communicators express themselves in a way that’s easy for others to understand. They have a direct communication style and get to the point. Being assertive should never be confused with being aggressive. These speakers are able to clearly state what’s on their minds while also being respectful of other people.
Assertive people are able to communicate effectively with coworkers, managers and customers. Most managers and business owners are successful because they are assertive.
Passive is the opposite of assertive, and these communicators are generally shy, quiet and do not display confidence in their words. They will not be taken as seriously as the person who is assertive. A person who is too passive may feel like a victim, become stressed out, resent others and want revenge on those who make life overwhelming, according to Mayo Clinic.
Nonverbal
Assertive communicators portray the same directness in their nonverbal skills. To communicate effectively, you must maintain eye contact. If eye contact makes you feel uncomfortable, focus on the person’s eyebrows. The person you’re speaking to will not notice.
Face the person you are speaking with, and lean slightly toward him. However, stay approximately an arm's length away so you do not invade his personal space.
Your nonverbal communication should match your verbal communication. If you sound confident, but then you send negative nonverbal cues, the trust and connection in relationships are lost , according to Help Guide.
Listening
Active listening means you stop doing anything that would distract you from the speaker and place all your attention on the person speaking. While they are speaking, you do not interrupt. When they have finished, you paraphrase what they said and you ask if you understood correctly. Once they have finished and you have paraphrased the issue, then it’s your turn to talk.
If you are working over the phone or in a business setting, it is appropriate to take notes while the person is talking.
"I" Statements
Knowing to use the word “I” instead of “you” can save you unnecessary confrontational moments. Things like “You never pick up after yourself” or “You don’t appreciate me” sound like an attack on the person you are speaking to, and they are more likely to become defensive.
Switching to “I” causes a less defensive reaction. For example, “I feel like we’re not equally sharing cleaning responsibilities” or “I feel unappreciated” sound less like an attack to the other person.
Patience
Patience is an effective communication tool. Not everyone communicates the same way and at the same speed. You may talk with people who take long pauses or people who take longer to get to the point of the conversation.
No matter how tempting it may be, never speak over another person while they’re talking. It’s very important to not interrupt anyone if they’re in the middle of a conversation with you. Always wait until you know for sure the other person has finished before you jump into the conversation.
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