Infidelity is a problem that has plagued relationships for many centuries, as documented in countless historical accounts and fictional works. When a couple agrees to be faithful and monogamous, and that trust is broken, the result is often heartache and separation. Cheaters often leave telltale signs that they are fooling around, despite their best efforts to keep their affairs secret. Learning to recognize these clues can lead to a resolution of underlying problems via communication or relief from being continually deceived by a partner.
Behavioral Changes
Cheaters will change their behavior to compensate for the guilt of transgression and the fear of being caught. According to private investigator C.R. “Bob” Brown, in the beginning of an affair, a cheater will be more attentive to you. Later, he may start become overly critical of his spouse to justify his cheating in his mind. He may also lose interest in you and your children, and change his sexual attitudes toward you.
Unusual Spending
Someone having an affair may leave clues via credit card or checking account transactions. Brown says that cheating mates may start spending more money than usual. This may translate into late night dinners, hotel stays or purchases at stores for flowers and other gifts. If you suspect that your mate is cheating, pay attention to account statements and receipts to spot unusual activity. A cheater might even purchase a separate cellular phone to use in connection with her liaisons, so look for monthly charges for extra phone lines.
Extended Internet Use
A tip-off that something is not right in a relationship is your mate spending long hours on the Internet. This is especially a concern if this Internet use appears occurs when you are not able to see what your mate is doing, such as while you are sleeping or when your spouse is behind locked doors. If your partner acts nervous when you enter a room unannounced, and quickly closes browsers or other applications, this could be a sign of infidelity. Arizona State University’s family studies professor Lois Goldblatt says meeting over the Internet has become a popular way to seek out affairs.
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