Expressing your thoughts and emotions extends far beyond words. In fact, the majority of the interaction you have with others is in the form of nonverbal communication. Therefore, being able to understand the influence of the unspoken elements of interaction may help you to connect with others in professional and social situations and improve your relationships.
Positioning
The way you hold—or position—your body may reveal how comfortable you are in particular circumstances. Retired psychiatrist Dr. Richard Blatner says that the manner in which a person positions himself—his posture, demeanor and stance—can divulge an abundance of information about his ability to command the current situation. Blatner says that your posture directly influences the emotional effect you have on other people; towering over someone, thrusting out your jaw, angling or twisting your body or thrusting your shoulders forward may indicate signs of aggression. On the other hand, slumping your shoulders, cringing or slouching may all be indications of discomfort.
Touching
Interpreting messages by utilizing the tactile sense can be an extremely challenging topic to navigate, says Blatner. Using touch to communicate thoughts, feelings or information through a warm hug, reassuring pat on the back or eager clasp of the hands can produce mutual acceptance and closeness. On the other hand, a controlling shoulder grip, inappropriate grabbing or rubbing may initiate negative reactions that can lead to hostile, dishonest, coercive or awkward interaction. Blatner warns that using touch as a form of nonverbal communication is exceptionally sensitive with regard to adolescents because he says that depending on the situation and even the angle of the arm, the “touching could be interpreted as patronizing or undue familiarity.” Author and speaker Randi Kerger, who specializes in teaching others to communicate with people with border personality disorder (BPD) says that touch comprises more emotion and information than any other form of communication. She says that even “momentary touches, the experts say—whether an exuberant high five, a warm hand on the shoulder, or a creepy touch to the arm—can communicate an even wider range of emotion than gestures or expressions, and sometimes do so more quickly and accurately than words.”
Looking
Making facial expressions is often an unconscious result of your individual reflexes. Wincing at a piercing sound, squinting in pain, pouting or smiling are all responses relating to emotional observations. Oftentimes, you don’t even recognize that you’re betraying emotions, but the look on your face exposes your feelings of joy, pain, shock or disgust. Additionally, eye contact may also reveal a lot about your method of interaction. Former Federal Bureau of Investigation Counterintelligence Agent Joe Navarro says that avoiding eye contact entirely may signal nervousness or deceit, whereas diverting eye contact to things or people around the room may indicate that you’re disinterested or indifferent to the conversation.
References
- Psychology Today: Touch Is the Ultimate Communication
- Adam Blatner, M.D.: About Nonverbal Communications
- HelpGuide: Nonverbal Communication Skills
- Harvard University Business School: The Truth Behind the Smile and Other Myths - When Body Language Lies
- Psychology Today: The Key to Understanding Body Language
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