An adult adoptee may grow up wondering why she wasn’t good enough to stay with her biological parents. She wonders why her parents didn’t want her. Because she might have been very young when she was adopted, she doesn’t know what facts surrounded her adoption. Regardless of the circumstances, adoptees will experience post-adoption issues, even as adults.
Significance
The fact that an adult was adopted as a young child can lead to several issues that he has to face and work with in order to begin the task of becoming his own person. He must recognize that he had no control over a decision that changed his life forever.
Regardless of whether he was adopted shortly after birth or after he was placed into foster care at an older age, adults who were “in charge” made the crucial decision that he would not spend his life with his biological parents. This decision to make him legally free for adoption impacted his ability to recognize who he is. As he continued to feel this lack of control over his life, he may have engaged in power struggles with the significant adults in his life--parents, teachers, grandparents and coaches, says the Adoption website.
Effects
Legal adoption creates a loss--the child loses her biological family. This could be the first significant loss she ever experiences in her life, possibly affecting her at a subconscious level.
Even though she was welcomed into her adoptive family with love and eagerness, she is aware of a feeling of rejection. She knows that her biological family gave her up so that she could be chosen by her adoptive parents.
As she grows, she grieves her loss, although she might not be able to identify why she is grieving, writes the Adoption website.
Considerations
Because the aftereffects of adoption can extend into adulthood for the adoptee, he finds that he needs to develop ways of coping with the fact of his adoption in a way that helps him resolve the loss of his biological family. He may decide to search for his biological family; if he has an inherited health condition, it could be necessary for medical reasons. He may choose to join an adoption support group, where he can meet with other adult adoptees and share experiences.
Identification
The adult adoptee finds her task of self-identity is more difficult because she doesn’t know what her biological family background is. She doesn’t know if her father is a dishwasher or a structural engineer; she doesn’t know if her mother likes to write or work on crafts. She doesn’t know anything about any siblings she might have. She also has no idea of where she got particular genetic characteristics, such as eye and hair color or a health condition, according to the Child Welfare Information Gateway.
Time Frame
The effects of adoption can last into adulthood for the adoptee, writes the Child Welfare Information Gateway. Because this adult was given up by his biological parents, instead of being raised by them, he develops fears of abandonment and problems developing his own identity.
While one adult adoptee feels he can trace all of his problems to his adoption, another adult adoptee may not have such a difficult time with the fact of his birth and adoption, says the Child Welfare Information Gateway.
