Many humans have, sadly, perfected the art of lying. Whether the lie delays an uncomfortable conversation or results in a promotion, it has become a prevalent asset in modern culture. The key is knowing that truth comes from body language--not always verbal communication. It is very difficult to betray what the body feels. Understanding your partner’s body language will help to decipher the mysterious coded language of relationships, even if he isn’t lying.
Trouble Ahead
Body language is more than a physical response; it is an indicator of several things, the first of which is when something is not right. Speaking with your partner may not cultivate doubt, but you sense that something is wrong even still. Joe Navarro, author of a body language guide called "What Every Body Is Saying," notes that there are warning signs that can tip you off. First, look for eye contact. If he isn’t fully maintaining eye contact during conversation, there’s probably a reason. Pay close attention to his hands and feet-- fidgeting and restlessness are easily overlooked, but they are huge indicators of worry. Body language can detect when something is wrong before it’s too late.
Importance
Recognizing body language doesn’t just prevent a blowup over a repressed issue. It can also draw you closer to your partner. Often, people in a relationship misunderstand the gravity and importance of what their partners are saying to them. Take note of long pauses in verbal communication--humans rarely take exaggerated pauses over trivial matters. Also, look closely at posture. If your partner is relaxed, her shoulders should be at ease. Uptight, tense shoulders mean that what’s being said means more to your partner than it would seem.
Distance
If you hear the dreaded phrase “I need some space,” your partner has probably been acting upon that decree already. You just haven’t noticed. Notice the literal distance between the two of you when you are relaxing with her. You don’t have to be arm-and-arm all of the time, but if you’re sitting across the room more often than not, it’s time to talk.
Turning Points
In retrospect, it is usually easy to mark a specific point in a relationship when the dynamics changed. But it is also possible to recognize that point at the time if you understand non-verbal communication. Watch for facial expressions. Love should energize you and your partner--so a long, drawn and tired face is not an indicator of love at work. It is an indicator of unaddressed strife. Don’t overreact initially as it may involve problems at work or family issues; you’re not always the problem. Once you see the weariness, you know what you have to do. Be the support beam for her. Detecting strife takes practice, but Navarro stresses the need to discern between your partner's "normal" face and her "stressed" face, so begin your observation as soon as possible.
Apologies
Mastering non-verbal communication is vital after you or your partner has made a mistake. There may have been a lot of yelling and upset feelings after the mistake, so talking is going to be uncomfortable. Sometimes, you may not even want to hear another word from him. Non-verbal communication breaks that barrier by broadcasting remorse without words. Communicating that you are truly sorry through body language should bring down your partner's defenses and allow for civilized conversation.
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