According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 191,000 women were diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006 in the United States alone. Receiving this kind of diagnosis is never easy. Cancer is an ordeal that can be both physically and mentally demanding. Fortunately, if your mother is going through cancer, there are steps you can take to ease her burden.
Step 1
Discuss the various treatment options with your mother. She might be too tired to even listen to what the doctors tell her. She may not have the energy to look for information by herself, so helping her to find information is sometimes necessary. Ask her doctor, read books, talk to cancer survivors. Then talk to your mother. Do not tell her what to do. The choice is hers. But offer her all the information she needs to make an informed decision. Try to predict when she would be ready to face her condition and talk to you. This is not likely to be right after the diagnosis, but she may be ready to talk once she is over the denial phase.
Step 2
Talk to your father. Many women are afraid of losing their breasts because they think that their femininity depends on them. There is no one better than your mother's spouse to convince her that his love for her is not going to go away if she loses her breasts. Your father may not be aware of these common fears in breast cancer patients. Let him know about those fears and then ask him to talk with your mother.
Step 3
Find a support group for your mother. Brest cancer survivors are among the most organized cancer survivors in the United States. They offer free support groups as well as personal support from a breast cancer survivor to every patient they come into contact with. This help can be invaluable for your mother. Find out where and when these groups meet and drive her to the first appointment.
Step 4
Offer to take over some of your mother's responsibilities. Even small tasks such as cleaning the apartment or cooking dinner might seem quite overwhelming right after she learns she has breast cancer. The same applies to when she is receiving treatment. Take over these tasks with your siblings. Make sure that you all know what tasks they should take care of so that your mother can come home from the hospital to a clean house with a full refrigerator.
Step 5
Figure out how your mother can afford the different cancer treatments she will need. The financial costs for her treatment may be very high, especially if her condition requires complex treatments or multiple surgeries. Cancer patients and caretakers are often given opportunities to apply for financial aid, so help your mother apply for this assistance. Find out how much of her expenses are covered by her insurance and sit down with family and friends to discuss how people can help your mother financially.
Tips and Warnings
- Make sure your mother does not stay in a stage of denial for too long. She needs to realize the severity of her condition and come to terms with it.
- Take care of yourself. Taking care of a cancer patient can be very tiring and neither you nor your mother will benefit from your stress.
