When someone suffers from depression, friends and relatives often tend to withdraw from the depressed person's company. They feel uncomfortable in part because they don't know how to help. When the depressed person reaches out and fails to elicit a response, his depression and isolation grow. A good friend or a supportive relative can be very helpful--even life-saving--in this situation.
Step 1
Be there for him--don't withdraw. He feels isolated enough as is. Listen in a supportive way, but don't try to be his therapist. Treat him as you would on any other occasion--just make sure to be gentle. As MayoClinic.com advises, don't try to cheer him up as it can be counterproductive. Don't point out to him how great is his life and how he shouldn't be depressed. You don't really know what's going on inside him, and these types of statements can increase his sense of isolation.
Step 2
Emphasize the importance of treatment. Encourage her to go to see a psychiatrist, help her find a good one, then help her get to appointments, if needed (see Resources). Be attentive to any signs that she is suicidal. Don't hesitate to ask, and bring this up with his psychiatrist if you're worried. As MayoClinic.com explains, worrisome signs include talking about suicide, preoccupation with death and engaging in risky behaviors.
Step 3
Get him to exercise. Go to his house, pick him up and go for a walk together or go to the gym. Exercise is very beneficial for depression, as shown by a study published in 2005 in the "American Journal of Preventative Medicine," but it's hard to get motivated to do anything when you're depressed. Exercise together--it'll be good for you too and provide him with social interaction.
Step 4
Do practical things for her, within reason. You don't want to encourage dependency and passivity. Gaining a sense of control of her life is part of the path out of depression. Depression can make it hard, though, to perform basic daily tasks, including taking care of hygiene and eating properly. If you can pick up the groceries for her, cook a nice meal or wash a sink full of dishes once in a while, you'll be keeping her environment healthy.
Step 5
Surprise her with something fun. A handmade sweater or a cake you baked yourself shows that you were thinking of her. A surprise parcel in the mail also works well. Get her something luxurious, even if small. It's a reminder that there's life beyond depression and that there are things she used to enjoy and can go back to enjoying.
Tips and Warnings
- Take care of yourself too. Take some of the burden, but not more than you can bear.
- Remember that you're a friend, not a therapist. Don't intervene in the treatment. Getting involved when you don't really want to can backfire. You'll get fed up and quit, and the person will feel abandoned.
References
- MayoClinic.com: Depression, supporting a family member or friend
- National Institutes of Mental Health: Depression
- "American Journal of Preventative Med"; Exercise treatment for depression: efficacy and dose response; Dunn AL; January 2005
