How To Understand The Things That Men Say

At times, men say one thing and mean another, leaving you feeling confused and at a loss with how to communicate with them. To understand the things that men say, you must also decipher their tone, body language and communication style to help uncover the real meaning of their words. Sometimes they are straightforward and easy to read. Other times, they will leave you puzzled. If you take the time to truly understand your man, you'll have greater success communicating.

Step 1

Examine his body language as he delivers his message. For instance, a man who is telling you that he loves you with his words after he turns your body away from you, or remains guarded by crossing his arms, could be lying. When he says something while he leans toward you, leaving his body open, it becomes more sincere. If he is talking with his hands, it shows that he is a good communicator, says psychologist Kevin Hogan, author of "Irresistible Attraction: Secrets of Personal Magnetism."

Step 2

Listen for the tone of voice that he is using when he talks to you. Andrews University notes that communication is made up of several nonverbal parts, tone being one of them. Imagine a man saying identical sentiments, but changing his tone to sound enthusiastic, somber or sad. Think about how the tone changes the meaning of the message. Always analyze the tone that a message is delivered for the true feelings and intent behind the message.

Step 3

Consider a man's general communication style. Remember that women and men connect and communicate in vastly different ways, notes Deborah Tannen, psychotherapist and author of "You Just Don't Understand." While women communicate through words and touch, and need that communication to feel close, men prefer to communicate through action. If he seems closed off or shy while talking to you, remember that he could really be indicating that he'd rather communicate in other ways that come more naturally to him.

Step 4

Listen to the message he is trying to convey. At times, you can get so caught up in over analyzing all of his body movements, tone and communication style that you miss the purpose of the message. While he may not be the most proficient communicator, he's trying to get a message across to you. Men are more direct than women in their communication, so typically what he says, he means. You just need to listen closely.