The University of Washington News reports that marriage counseling has a success rate of 50 percent. If you and your significant other hope to resolve an issue or avoid divorce with the skills you learn in couple’s therapy, use communication and commitment strategies to increase your chances of mending the relationship.
Choose a Counselor
The Brooklyn College Personal Counseling Program considers choosing an impartial and experienced counselor one of the keys to successful marriage therapy. Find the right marriage therapist by asking for referrals from family and friends, a physician or your insurance company. Narrow the choices by asking for a consultation to ensure your personalities and situation mesh with the counselor’s therapy style. Ask what tactics the therapist would take to help you work through your issues and weigh additional details, such as fees, your comfort level, the therapist’s attention level and her availability.
Commit to Therapy
Attend therapy when you and your spouse have an open mind and are willing to work on marital problems. Purdue University’s Couple & Family Therapy Center suggests asking your spouse to attend therapy despite the fact that he may have refused in the past. Instead of arguing about counseling, the center recommends asking in a non-confrontational, caring way when your spouse is relaxed, instead of issuing an ultimatum during an argument.
Provide Background Information
To help your counselor devise the best course of therapy, the Mayo Clinic recommends divulging not only your marital problems, but also the background that each spouse brings to the marriage. Be open about your family histories and personal issues, such as substance abuse, addictions, mental illness or sexual abuse. The information may help the therapist work with additional health care providers to devise a treatment program to help you deal with issues that can lead to marital discord and deeper problems, such as spousal or emotional abuse.
Do the Work
As you enter marriage therapy, realize that the therapist isn’t there to tell you that you are right and your spouse is wrong. The Help Guide notes that the counselor will be an impartial “partner” to help you work through your issues. The website stresses the importance of listening to the therapist’s recommendations and committing to the process by attending all of your scheduled sessions and completing “assignments” that she gives you between appointments, such as watching a specific video or holding a discussion about a specific issue.
Accept Each Other
Achieve greater success with therapy by remembering that you may be unable to change your spouse’s nature or annoying habits. The University of Washington News notes that couple’s counseling should enable you to understand and accept each other’s behavior traits and use the process to resolve differences to strengthen the bond between you. By reducing the combativeness, the therapist may be able to help you rebuild trust and encourage cooperation that will enable you to mend your relationship.
References
- University of Washington News: New Marriage Therapy Treatment Achieves Extremely High Success Rate
- Brooklyn College Personal Counseling Program: Finding the Right Counselor or Psychotherapist for You
- Purdue University Couple & Family Therapy Center: Engaging Your Spouse in Marriage Counseling
- MayoClinic.com: Marriage Counseling
- HelpGuide.org: Psychotherapy and Counseling
