Identifying mental abuse can be a difficult task because victims frequently may conceal the signs and symptoms of psychological abuse. An encounter with emotional abuse can be far more enduring than a physical beating because of the depth to which the emotional scars penetrate and destroy the foundation of your personal identity, which may force you to question your own self-worth.
Neglect
Denying you access to basic needs by preventing you from maintaining your own financial independence is a devastating form of emotional abuse. HelpGuide.org contributors Melinda Smith and Jeanne Segal, a psychologist, say that this form of abuse includes forbidding you from securing work so that you’re completely dependent on his financial resources. When he limits your access to money and control, he’s also denying your freedom and your capacity to leave him. Additionally, the American Psychological Association defines relationship neglect as “physical and social isolation that separates you from social support networks.”
Intimidation
Threatening you or your family with the use of verbal or visual intimidation allows him to yield psychological control over you. By making promises to harm you if you leave him, he forces you to live in fear for your safety. This overwhelming sense of terror often prevents the victim from seeking help from others and thwarts any attempt to leave the relationship. Psychologist John M. Carver believes that a victim of an abusive relationship may develop a form of “Stockholm Syndrome,” in which she acts in defense of her abuser. Carver says that bonding with and protecting an abuser is a psychological tactic that a victim may unconsciously develop in order to survive. He asserts that a victim believes that her abuser would follow through with his threats, making her so fearful of the repercussions of escaping that she protects herself by forming an emotional attachment to her abuser.
Humiliation
Forcing you to perform demeaning sexual acts and criticizing you for your physical appearance can infuse a sense of disgrace and guilt on the victim’s part. Psychologist Steven Stosny says that any form of manipulation in which a victim feels shame is emotional abuse. He explains that it’s important to understand that many times, an abuser demeans his victim by using an ironic tone or implication that he communicates indirectly through his looks, his tone and body language. Through humiliation, the abuser is able to yield power over you because he convinces you that your personal failures have forced him to criticize you, says Stosny.
References
- Safe Place Ministries: Cycle of Abuse
- Psychology Today: Effects of Emotional Abuse: It Hurts When I Love
- Help Guide: Domestic Violence and Abuse
- Counselling Resource: Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser (Part 1)
- American Psychological Association: Intimate Partner Abuse and Relationship Violence[
