Although children don’t have all the same concerns as adults, they experience the same emotions. Anger in children can be a response to danger, but it can also help them express themselves and declare their independence, according to the website Scholastic. There are many things that can cause a child to get angry, or even aggressive.
Causes of Anger
Children might get angry in response to internal or external things. For example, a child might get angry if he feels lonely, unloved, unrespected, fearful of parents and teachers, overburdened by demands or lied to, according to “Anger in Children: Causes, Characteristics, and Considerations,” by George Sheviakov. A child also might become angry if he doesn’t understand why a privilege has been revoked, if he has a grim school or home life, if he feels as though he’s being ignored or if he feels he has lost an opportunity to experience something that would bring him a sense of satisfaction or success, according to Sheviakov.
Coping Strategies
Regardless of the source of a child’s anger, you can help her gain a sense of control over her feelings. Encourage the child to stop whatever she is doing before the feeling turns into rage, and teach her some calming methods such as deep breathing, writing in a diary or having some alone time. You also can encourage her to think about potential outcomes of her reactions, consider the feelings of others, and look for more helpful solutions such as compromising, according to Scholastic.
Taming Aggression
When a child’s anger turns into aggressive behavior, you should take extra steps to calm him down. For example, if he has started to hit other children, you can step in to isolate him, reassert the “no hitting” rule and consistently follow through with direct consequences for his actions, such as telling him that he cannot play with the other children if he continues to hit, according to Scholastic. After you diffuse the situation, explain that he is not a bad person, but he made a bad choice, and encourage him to apologize for his actions.
Temper Tantrums
Preschool-age children commonly have temper tantrums that involve kicking, lying on the floor, screaming and breath-holding, according to Colorado State University Extension. This usually peaks in children between ages 2 and 3 because young children have high energy, are still learning how to satisfy their own wants and have trouble verbalizing their frustrations. Explosive outbursts should be less common by the time children enter kindergarten, and subtle angry expressions such as sulking, whining and pouting should be the norm in older children, according to Scholastic.
Warning Signs
Children at risk for having anger problems include children who have previously exhibited violent or aggressive behavior, been abused or exposed to violence, have a genetic predisposition, have used drugs or alcohol, live in a home with firearms, live in a stressful family environment or have sustained brain damage from a head injury, according to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Children who have several of these risk factors and show behaviors such as intense anger, frequent frustration, repeated outbursts and extreme irritability and impulsiveness should be evaluated for a disorder.
References
- Anger in Children: Causes, Characteristics, and Considerations
- KidsHealth: Anger Busters
- Colorado State University Extension: Children's Anger and Tantrums
- Scholastic: Anger Management in Children
- American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: Understanding Violent Behavior in Children and Adolescents
