Jealousy is a nearly universal human emotion, and a certain amount can be expected in any romantic relationship. In some cases, however, jealousy can become exaggerated and irrational. Destructive jealousy is triggered by insecurity, according to psychologist Nando Pelusi. It is often caused solely by the jealous partner's state of mind, rather than the acts of the other partner.
Prowling
If your partner is jealous, he will probably prowl around and attempt to gather information on your activities, according to Aaron Ben-Zeev, Professor of Philosophy at the University of Haifa and author of "In the Name of Love: Romantic Ideology and its Victims." You may feel that you are under constant surveillance. Your partner may also play the role of cross-examiner, questioning your whereabouts before you leave your residence and after you return with the aim of "catching" you, according to Hidden Hurt, a domestic abuse information portal. He may also call you frequently and drop by unexpectedly.
Invasion of Privacy
A jealous partner may eavesdrop on your telephone calls and messages, read your e-mails and search your personal belongings, says Ben-Zeev. She may also check your credit card bills or your car's odometer. If your partner's jealousy is based on his suspicions rather than anything you have done, he may be seeking a way to justify his suspicions. Unfortunately, modern technology provides many ways to violate your privacy that were unavailable a few decades ago--e-mail and cell phone passwords can be stolen, and social networking accounts can be monitored.
False Accusations
The jealousy of a suspicious partner can lead to false accusations. The accusation of flirting is quite common, according to Hidden Hurt. If your partner frequently questions you, she may ask the same question over and over again in different ways to attempt to catch you in an inconsistency that will justify a false accusation. Try to remember that without real evidence, a false accusation is more of a reflection of her own insecurity than of any wrongdoing on your part.
Control
Psychologist Phil McGraw, host of the syndicated television series "Dr. Phil," asserts that jealousy is "a poorly disguised need for power and control." Consequently, you may expect a jealous partner in the advanced stages of jealousy to attempt to control your behavior at some point. He may use psychological means such as shame, guilt manipulation of intimidation, financial coercion or even physical force.
Member Comments