All children exhibit deficiencies in social skills and self-control relative to adults. Some children lag behind their peers in these abilities. Since constant misbehavior can be exasperating to adults, common responses include yelling, constant criticism and indiscriminate means of punishment. It is more effective, however, to make use of behavior management strategies developed by psychologists and counselors.
Behaviors vs. Attitudes
The BBB Autism Online Support Network advises parents to carefully discriminate between attitudes and behaviors when attempting to modify a child's behavior. It is easy to slip into the habit of trying to correct a child's attitude toward or interpretation of a situation--yet the child may be far more capable of changing her behavior than changing her point of view. A better approach is to look for the stimulus that preceded the undesirable behavior, define the behavior in terms of what you can see and hear, and institute appropriate consequences designed to prevent recurrence of the behavior.
Skill-Based Deficits
Some child behavior problems are simply the result of deficient skills, according to Judith Osgood Smith, professor emerita of education at Purdue University Calumet. A child may have failed to master the skills necessary to effectively interact with his peers. In this case, punitive discipline is particularly inappropriate--you will need to teach your child the desired skill before he will be capable of complying with your behavior modification demands. It is important to be able to identify whether your child is unwilling or simply unable to comply with your expectations.
Noncooperation
Some behavior problems are defined not by what your child does, but what she doesn't do--failure to do her homework, for example. In this case, the appropriate response is to motivate your child by presenting positive outcomes and offering your child limited choices about how to perform the desired behavior, according to Jane Bluestein, Ph.D., author and CEO of Instructional Support Services, Inc.
Counterproductive Behavior
Bluestein defines counterproductive behavior as any behavior that is disruptive to someone else's needs. It may include destructive or obnoxious behavior, or disrespect. It is when a child engages in these types of behaviors that discipline may become necessary. Bluestein advises verbal reprimands and withholding of privileges as appropriate disciplinary measures. It is important to leave the door open for your child to change these behaviors and thereby avoid future negative outcomes. Developmental psychologist Jean Mercer is skeptical of the effectiveness of using "time outs" such as "Go to your room!" for misbehavior that is rewarding in itself, such as stealing candy, because this strategy fails to provide sufficient negative reinforcement.
Reinforcement
A basic principle of behavior management, according to the BBB Autism Online Support Network, is that positive reinforcement increases the likelihood that the given behavior will recur, while negative reinforcement decreases the likelihood. An understanding of this principle can help you devise your own behavior management strategies. It is important, however, to make it clear to the child exactly what behavior is being reinforced; otherwise he will fail to be motivated by it.
References
- Instructional Suppport Services, Inc.: Behavior Management: Intervention Strategies
- Psychology Today: Time-Out: Time and Child Behavior Management
- BBB Autism Online Support Network: Behavior Management Strategies to Use Every Day
- LD Online: Behavior Management: Getting to the Bottom of Social Skills Deficits
