A challenging aspect of divorce proceedings involves resolving child-custody issues. As you consider a divorce case, understand that if a judge is called upon to make decisions regarding custody of your children, the standard she applies is that of the best interests of the child, according to Cornell University Law School. On many levels, as a parent you know better than anyone else what is in the best interests of your child. Therefore, working to negotiate a settlement of custody issues with your spouse is an advisable course of action.
Step 1
Prepare talking points outlining your position regarding child custody issues. For example, note that you are willing to share both residential and legal custody with the other parent. Residential custody is the right to provide a home for the child while legal custody is the ability to make decisions for her.
Step 2
Schedule a meeting time with your spouse. Do not insist on a particular time and strive for flexibility.
Step 3
Ask your spouse to lay out his position on child custody issues. By letting him go first, you extend an olive branch in the form of wanting to listen to his position. Additionally, you gain a strategic advantage by hearing his standing regarding custody issues before you present your own.
Step 4
Set forth your own position regarding custody, emphasizing the areas in which you agree with your spouse.
Step 5
Write down the points of agreement after the initial exchange.
Step 6
Continue your initial negotiations to see if you make any additional headway. Do not allow your first session to go much beyond two hours. If you do not fully settle the matter during that time period, schedule a follow up for a week or 10 days down the road. The time frame allows for both you and your spouse to further contemplate your mutual positions.
Step 7
Meet with your spouse a second time to attempt to resolve any outstanding issues.
Step 8
Engage a mediator if you remain at an impasse on some custody-related issues. A mediator is a third party professional who facilitates negotiations. She does not make decisions for you and your spouse; rather, she works at aiding you and your spouse in fully resolving custody issues without the need for a full blown court hearing.
Step 9
Draft a final custody agreement, using a form available from the court clerk. In the alternative, if you hired an attorney, he drafts this document for you.
Tips and Warnings
- Divorce and custody laws are complex. Consider obtaining the services if an attorney to assist you in your case. The American Bar Association provides resources to assist you in finding not only attorneys in private practice, but organizations that provide legal assistance for people unable to afford retained legal counsel.
References
- Cornell University Law School: Child Custody Overview
- "Child Custody A to Z"; Guy J. White; 2005
- Nolo: Child Custody FAQ
