Children must be taught how to behave in a socially appropriate manner. Although it is normal for children to have behavior problems, some children lag behind their peers in the development of appropriate behavior. Regardless of whether you are dealing with normally developing children or special needs children, behavior management techniques such as discipline and positive reinforcement can be beneficial.
Focus on Behavior
The BBB Autism Online Support Network advises parents to focus on their child's behavior rather than her attitude towards or interpretation of events. Behavior means specific acts that can be seen and heard. Children often find modification of their behavior to be a manageable task, while modification of their own reactions or point of view may be beyond their capabilities. BBB stresses that it is the consequences that follow a child's behavior that determine whether or not the behavior will be repeated.
Positive Communication
The Family Education Network, an Internet educational resource, describes "positive communication" as a behavior reinforcement tool that can modify behavior while at the same time building self-esteem. Positive communication involves facing your child and maintaining eye contact when talking to him, refraining from interrupting him if possible and criticizing his behavior rather than relying on personal labels such as, "You are a bad boy." Introducing corrective responses to undesirable behavior with "reinforcers" designed to support the child emotionally, such as "Tom, you are a smart boy," can also be helpful.
Dealing With Skill-Based Deficits
Some undesirable behaviors, such as those relating to awkward social interactions, may be the result of your child's lack of skill. In this case, she will be incapable of modifying her behavior until she learns the required skills. When you encounter a skill-based deficit, "Don't scold or reprimand the student for having a skill-based deficit; instead, teach the skill," advises Judith Osgood Smith, Professor Emerita of Education of Purdue University Calumet.
Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement is created when you promise your child a reward for desirable behavior and then keep your promise when your child exhibits these behaviors--driving her to the mall if she cleans her room by 3 p.m., for example. Make sure to verbally connect the reward with the desired behavior, and avoid praise that connects your child's value or your affection to the desired behavior. Focus on the benefit to your child instead, advises Jane Bluestein, author and CEO of Instructional Support Services, Inc.
Discipline
You should respond to negative behavior by "removing or withholding privileges or positive consequences," says Bluestein. It is important to announce boundaries and consequences in advance, stick to the consequences strictly and leave the door open for a reversal of the consequences if your child appropriately modifies his behavior in the future.
References
- Instructional Support Services, Inc: Behavior Management--Intervention Strategies
- BBB Autism Online Support Network: Behavior Management Strategies to Use Every Day
- Psychology Today: Time Out--Time and Child Behavior Management
- LD Online: Behavior Management--Getting to the Bottom of Social Skills Deficits
- Family Education: Using Positive Reinforcement
