Non-verbal communication is a critical component of communication. In fact, social anthropologist Edward T. Hall estimates that 65% of conversational communication is non-verbal. Accordingly, it is important to become aware of the non-verbal signals you are sending and receiving from others, even at the unconscious level. With practice, you can improve your non-verbal communication skills.
Uses
Charles H. Tidwell, Jr., Professor of Communications at Andrews University, notes that non-verbal communication serves a variety of functions. It can reiterate a verbal message by pointing while giving directions, reinforce a verbal message through tone of voice, contradict a verbal message as with a wink, or even substitute for a verbal message through the use of gestures. In addition, unintentional non-verbal messages may tip you off that someone is lying to you or provide you with insight into his emotional state even when he hasn't spoken.
Types
Tidwell lists many different types of non-verbal modes of communication--touch, gaze, volume of the voice, tone of voice, facial expression, posture, and sounds such as the clearing of the throat. Even word choice, syntax, and well-timed silences can convey non-verbal messages. Gender and cultural differences in non-verbal communication can cause confusion--a gesture that carries a meaning in one culture, for example, may carry the opposite meaning in another culture. The circular finger gesture that means "OK" among North Americans, for example, means "money" among Japanese.
Mixed Messages
In many cases, non-verbal messages may directly contradict the meaning of verbal messages. Sigmund Freud believed that people cannot conceal intentional falsehoods and that anyone sufficiently skilled in reading non-verbal communication can always catch a liar. Mixed messages can cause anxiety and confusion, because the receiver must decide whether to believe the verbal or the non-verbal message.
Misconceptions
Communication theorist Nick Morgan, former editor of the Harvard Management Communication Letter, identifies a number of popular myths about non-verbal communication. Regarding eye contact, Morgan denies the popular belief that a liar cannot look you in the eye and that making a lot of eye contact with a stranger necessarily creates a better impression. He also denies that "fast talkers" are any more deceptive than people with slower speaking speeds.
Improvement
Psychologists Vicki Ritts and James R. Stein have identified several possible ways to improve your non-verbal communication skills. The first is to use eye contact--within reason--to signal interest in others. They also advise a sincere smile, the liberal use of gestures, and an erect but non-rigid posture, even when sitting. On the receiving end, you should look for body language signals such as tapping and gaze aversion indicating that your physical proximity may be perceived by the other party as an invasion of her personal space.
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