You may think there's no wrong way to help a friend out of an abusive relationship, but that likely is not the case. While you can be an excellent support person and a critical part of your friend's safety plan, helping her to decide how and when to leave her husband is usually best left to the professionals like domestic violence social workers, counselors or police, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. If you have a friend or loved one facing abuse, you need to understand your role as a support person to keep you and your friend free from danger.
Step 1
Talk to your friend about healthy relationships, about how abuse is not normal and about the type of relationships she deserves. Emphasize that the abuse is not her fault and that it is not going to get better or go away on its own.
Step 2
Listen as your friend confides in you about her abuse. Let her know that you care about her and that you want to help. Never judge your friend or try to place blame, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, and never stick up for her abuser. Understand that you cannot solve her problems for her, but you can support her.
Step 3
Encourage your friend to talk to a domestic violence outreach worker or counselor. Offer to help her find someone to talk to and to come along if she chooses. Professional domestic violence workers are likely to have access to resources and tools that you don't and can provide tips to keep everyone safe.
Step 4
Be a part of your friend's safety plan. Encourage her to pack her most important belongings in a suitcase and leave it at your house so she's ready to leave whenever she has to. HelpGuide.org recommends she have clothing, money, important documents and emergency contacts in her safety kit.
Step 5
Don't withdrawal your support if your friend makes a decision you don't like or decides to go back to her abuser. Abuse takes a toll mentally, physically and emotionally on women and she may make several attempts before she is able to leave. Her abuser also may be threatening her or her family, so she may decide to take some time and regroup or rethink her strategy. Support her during those times as well.
Step 6
Call the police immediately if you witness abuse or if she calls you to tell you that her partner's currently abusing her. Don't hesitate and don't try to go to her house to break things up. It is never a good idea to confront her abuser because he could harm you or take his anger out on her, because you got involved.
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