Jim Taylor, a psychologist for "Psychology Today" notes that praise and encouragement are often misused by modern parents. Saying "Good job!" or "Way to go!" to a child may seem like a good way to give praise, but it doesn't encourage your child to try other things or develop better self esteem based on accomplishment. Giving children encouragement and praise the proper way helps them to feel confident of their abilities, spurs them forward to try new things and acknowledge their own strengths.
Step 1
Offer praise and encouragement at the right time, says Scholastic.com. Educator Eva Moravcik cautions against using praise too often for your child. Saying the same sentiments over and over again can diminish the meaning of your encouraging words. She relates excess praise to a diet of cookies; one is desirable, but an entire diet of cookies or offering praise too often is simply not fulfilling.
Step 2
Give praise and encouragement based on things that your child can control, recommends Families.com. When your compliment and praise a child on her good looks, she begins to rely on uncontrollable factors to make up her self-esteem. Instead, giving praise for a particularly well-done math test or following directions teaches your child that she can control her self esteem and praise through her own actions. Avoid giving praise for looks or intelligent, and encourage based on actions and effort instead.
Step 3
Offer descriptive praise and encouragement to make it more meaningful to children, says FamilyRapp.com. Instead of using the tired phrases, "Good job" or "Nice effort," try giving detailed descriptions of what your child did right to receive the praise. Consider "Good job on sharing your toys with Jenny, Paul. It makes me happy when you're nice to other children." This tells your child exactly what he did to garner the praise and encouragement, so he's more likely to repeat the behavior in the future.
Step 4
Avoid pairing praise and encouragement with negative sentiments. The bad feelings of the negative words or reprimand will often negate any positive impact of praise. Use reprimands and discipline as a completely separate tool apart from praise and encouragement. For instance, "Good job on cleaning your room, Sally, but you forgot to put your laundry into the basket." The term "but" is used as a way to diminish the accomplishment and can make your child feel bad, even if the accomplishment was significant.
