According to the American Psychological Association, anger is a common human emotion that can cause reactions that range from mild frustration to violent rage. This wide variety of responses to anger is very much connected to each person's physiological response to perceived threats, the APA says. Humans have a "fight or flight" response to highly frustrating or contentious situations, meaning they will either have an instinct to act aggressively or to withdraw. Those with strongly aggressive responses often experience dysfunction in their personal or professional relationships as a result of repeated episodes of anger.
Step 1
Meet with a mental health therapist or join an anger management support group to get help assessing how your anger is affecting your family relationships, friendships and professional associations. Producing a list of problems and consequences that have been caused by anger will help you set goals toward improved anger management. .
Step 2
Work with a counselor to identify the patterns that cause outbursts of anger and to learn techniques such as relaxation, assertive communication and problem-solving to control the anger before it becomes aggressive and destructive. You can identify and track the most common causes for frustration and anger in a notebook or journal. According to the Mayo Clinic and the APA, individuals with anger problems often reduce their amount of anger and aggression when they take time to reflect on problems and develop a better understanding of their personal "triggers," the situations that are most likely to cause a strong reaction of frustration or anger. This will help them avoid these situations and be more prepared to control anger when and if it occurs.
Step 3
Ask for help from your counselor to learn and practice a variety of anger management techniques in real-life situations. Select certain "trigger" situations and approach them with a specific anger management technique in mind. Again, you can use daily reflection and journaling techniques to record incidents of anger, track your response and share them with your counselor. For example, if your anger is triggered by a co-worker's behavior, you might try taking a time out to calm down prior to talking to your co-worker, or you might use assertive communication skills to tell the co-worker how you feel. According to the Mayo Clinic, people have different responses to anger and frustration, so the same tips or techniques for anger management don't have the same results. You might have to experiment with different approaches, such as taking a time out, counting to 10, using relaxation techniques or trying active listening. Experts at the APA note that the development of effective anger management often requires practice over an eight- to 10-week period. Recording the results of your attempts and sharing them with your counselor or support group will allow you to observe long-term changes.
