Convey your message, feelings or argument clearly by using effective verbal communication skills, whether you’re conversing for business or pleasure. Focus on ways to improve your speaking habits, as well as your listening techniques, so both parties will feel understood and satisfied at the end of the conversation.
Assert Yourself
Speak assertively so the other party will understand your point of view. Asserting yourself does not equal speaking so aggressively that you appear to be smug or intimidating, which can lead the other party to fear or distrust you, notes the Georgia Department of Community Health. Speak with authority and avoid adding qualifiers to each statement, such as “I think” or “maybe.” Use sentences that begin with “I” instead of “you”—such as “I don’t understand that point,” as opposed to “You’re not being clear”—so you seem confident, but not critical.
Show Respect
Encourage the other party to listen by showing respect when you speak. The University of Toledo Center for Teaching and Learning advocates giving the conversation your undivided attention rather than talking to another person simultaneously or taking a phone call in the middle of your discussion. Avoid interrupting the other party, shouting, belittling another point of view or using derogatory language, even if the conversation turns into an argument. If you are disrespectful, the other person will focus on her own feelings or your improper behavior rather than your spoken message.
Master the Message
Speak clearly, and know what you’re going to say before you say it. If you’re planning a business-related conversation, for example, the Mind Tools website suggests researching your information for accuracy so you can speak with confidence. Write down the main points of your conversation and practice aloud, imagining what the other party will say so you can prepare possible responses.
Use Examples
Take a tip from Indiana University’s Campus Instructional Consulting website and communicate more effectively by using examples to illustrate your main points. If you’re speaking in a business setting, use facts, hypothetical situations or company history to clarify or illustrate your assertions. If you’re having a casual conversation, engage the listener, and make your discussion memorable by peppering it with humorous or heartfelt anecdotes.
Listen and Speak
Improve verbal communication by also listening diligently to what the other party has to say. If you dominate the conversation or don’t pay attention to the responses you’re receiving, you won’t comprehend the other party’s point of view or know if he truly understood yours, notes the North Dakota State University Extension Service. Listen properly by letting him complete his thought before you take your turn to speak, asking questions to clarify what he said and summing up at the end of the conversation so both sides know the result of the discussion.
References
- North Dakota State University Extension Service: Living with Your Teenager, Improving Communication
- Indiana University’s Campus Instructional Consulting: Improving Lecture Skills
- Mind Tools: Communication Skills
- GeorgiaHealthInfo.gov: Being Assertive, Reduce Stress, Communicate Better
- University of Toledo Center: Classroom Guidelines



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