A marriage is built on trust, and infidelity destroys the trust in a marriage. It takes a great deal of effort and desire to heal a marriage after an infidelity. Divorce is not your only option, and both spouses must invest the time and energy needed to heal the marriage. The marriage can't be healed unless both spouses have a strong desire to get their marriage back on the right track.
Step 1
Select a marriage counselor or a religious leader to help you. It is important at such a trying time in your marriage that you have someone with a level head to help talk over the issues in your marriage. Usually infidelity is not the only issue in a marriage once it gets to the point where one person is cheating. Though the infidelity should be a focus of your counseling sections, it is important to have a well-rounded discussion about all aspects of your marriage.
Step 2
Rebuild the trust in your marriage. This can only be done with complete openness, especially on the part of the cheating spouse. There should be no space open to suspect that there is going to be continued cheating. The spouses should be able to see all of each other's call logs and to read all emails and text messages. At such a precarious time in your marriage, healing your marriage is more important than privacy.
Step 3
Keep a journal of all of your feelings during this time. Having a place to vent will allow you to keep from lashing out at your spouse. The infidelity is likely to be on your mind constantly, but it is not conducive to healing your marriage to talk about it constantly. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you to process them in a positive way. The journal will also allow you to keep from venting to family and friends who might hold a grudge against your spouse long after you have offered forgiveness.
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