Most schools have anti-bullying policies, yet most school-age children know who the bullies in their classrooms are. For most kids, bullying is painful and makes it difficult for them to learn and play, but once they are away from the bully they are able to recover fairly quickly. Other children who are more sensitive or who experience more extreme bullying may find it more difficult to bounce back. These children need guidance and help from a trusted adult to begin the healing process.
Step 1
Ensure that your child is out of contact with the bully. This may mean changing classrooms or even changing schools. If this is not possible, enlist the help of your child's teacher to keep him separate from the bully as much as possible. Healing can not occur while the child remains in a hostile or threatening environment. Even if the bullying behavior seems to have stopped, the presence of the bully makes it difficult for the victimized child to relax and try social activities.
Step 2
Find social opportunities that capitalize on the child's strengths. If your child is great at art, enroll her in an after-school art program. If she loves science, encourage her to join the science club at school. Bullying tears down a child's self-esteem, so look for ways she can make friends with similar interests and begin to rebuild her confidence. Having a positive group of friends helps to strengthen the child against the negative impact of a bully.
Step 3
Foster a good relationship with your child's teacher and school administration. They are the adults who will be on hand when the bullying occurs, but they can not effectively deal with bullying if they do not realize what is happening. Acts of bullying are not always obvious. A bully can be very effective at intimidating his victim without attracting the attention of adults.
Step 4
Seek counseling. According to the Hamilton Fish Institute at George Washington University, children who have been the victim of a bully often benefit from speaking with a qualified counselor or therapist with experience helping children recover from traumatic experiences.
Tips and Warnings
- Take all reports of bullying seriously. Situations that begin with fairly minor acts of intimidation can escalate if not dealt with. Encourage your child to talk openly with you about the bullying. Assure her that you are on her side and will help her navigate this and any other situation.
- Never give your child the impression that he created or encouraged the bullying activity. Remember, a child who has been bullied already has a weakened sense of self-esteem. While he may not have handled the situation well, he did the best he could at the time. Instead of pointing out his failures, help him learn more effective strategies to use next time.
References
- George Washington University: Bullying: the 411
- "Creating Emotionally Safe Schools: A Guide For Educators And Parents"; Jane Bluestein; 2001
