How To Talk & Influence People

Whether at home or in your professional life, the skills necessary to talk and influence people will serve you well in your interpersonal relationships. Demands, pushiness and forcing your ideas and will on other people is usually met with resistance and resentment. Instead, use understanding and perception to help you see how the other parties are thinking and feeling, and use your perception to your advantage when presenting an idea. You'll find that in walking in someone else's shoes, you understand his point of view and are more readily able to talk to and influence him.

Step 1

Identify and choose your allies, suggests business website CIO.com. You can use allies to help influence those they are associated with. So identify the opinion leaders or those who have the most sway, and become allies with those closest to them. The next time you want to send an idea through the chains of command, you can work with your allies to get the message through.

Step 2

Outline what you'd like to achieve by influencing people. Perhaps you have a set goal in mind or simply want to bring about a more effective change. Brainstorming why you want to influence someone can give you a better idea of how to influence that person. It also gives you a chance to outline your arguments and seek the benefits of the change so you're ready to present it to those you want to influence in an intelligent and proficient way.

Step 3

Alter your perspective, and place yourself in the shoes of the person you seek to influence. Looking at the situation from someone else's point of view can give you a better idea of how to persuade someone, according to the groundbreaking book "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Pitch the idea through the filter of the other party's perception of what should happen, rather than your own design and desires.

Step 4

Acknowledge the other person's point of view, and validate it as you begin each facet of your argument or idea. When you begin an idea, start with something that you agree on, so the other party can hear how mutually beneficial your ideas are, says business website 4hb.com. For instance, instead of springing your idea on someone, try easing into it by saying, "We both get so frustrated by the scheduling of meetings. What if we sync our schedules and allow the assistants to schedule for us?" If you're having trouble with relating to your spouse at home and want to suggest a weekly meeting, suggest the change by following up with the rewards that will follow, like greater communication skills, time together and a more organized household. By presenting the idea as mutually beneficial, you have a greater chance at influencing the other party.