Dishonesty in dating may affect you more than it affects the guy who is lying to you. A study performed by the University of Toronto, Duke University and the University of California, and published in a 2008 edition of the "Journal of Marketing Research," found that most people will use dishonesty to their own gain as long as it doesn't disturb their own positive self-perception. If you've been in a relationship with a dishonest guy, you know how white lies and deceit can taint that relationship. End it to save your sanity, and find a healthier relationship.
Step 1
Consider the repercussions of his dishonesty, and analyze how they have affected your relationship and life. You may find that his lies have caused you to feel suspicious, affect your ability to trust others and always question his actions. His dishonesty will stay with you longer than the relationship will, and can eventually turn to depression, warns Psychology Today. End it if you know that it's negatively affecting you, your self esteem and your actions.
Step 2
Gather evidence against him to prove his lies. Pathological liars often don't realize they are telling lies, or tell them so easily that they discount them, according to an article by the Yale University School of Medicine and published in a 2005 issue of the "Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry Law." By keeping track of the dishonesty and lies, you can present a well-rounded case when it's time to end things and he asks for the reasons why. With evidence like emails, texts and actions you can prove your point without dispute on his part.
Step 3
Allow him the chance to come clean and confess his dishonesty to you. Even if you've already made up your mind to end it, and clearly have evidence to support your argument, hearing him agree and confess to his dishonesty can help reaffirm your decision, or it may convince you to stick with the relationship. Either way, it allows you the opportunity to hear the whole story and find the reasons why your partner lied to you and was generally dishonest.
Step 4
End the relationship by letting him know how deeply his dishonesty affects you, and why he should be more truthful in his next relationship. Cite specific times where his dishonesty directly hurt you, and explain how his actions will affect your own future actions. By letting him know what he's done through not being honest, he might think twice about lying in his next relationship. Make it a quick break, knowing that you deserve someone who cares about you enough to be truthful and honest.
References
- "Journal of Marketing Research"; The Dishonesty of Honest People: A Theory of Self-Concept Maintenance (abstract); Nina Mazar et al.; December 2008
- Psychology Today: The Damaging Relationship
- Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law Online: Pathological Lying Revisited; Dr. Charles C. Dike et al.; 2005
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