Talking to teenagers about sex can be a difficult task, but it is one of the most critical topics you can discuss with your child. According to the Palo Alto Medical Center, parents are the most important sexuality educators for their children. Your personal views and beliefs will influence your perspectives on the conversation, and it is crucial that your teen does not leave the discussion more confused than before. Be clear about your values, and be prepared to address the tough topics.
Step 1
Make time to talk to your teen. You may have to eliminate distractions such as the computer or cell phone, or, according to the Mayo Clinic, use a television or radio program discussing sex to springboard your conversation.
Step 2
Start the conversation. Fumbling a bit is perfectly natural, but breaking the ice about the topic should come from you. An example is, “I would like to talk to you about something important.” A more direct example is, “This might be an uncomfortable topic, but I think we should talk about sex.”
Step 3
Ask open questions. Allow your teen to speak freely and openly about the topic. A good open question to ask is, “What do you understand about sex?” or, “There is a lot of information about sexually transmitted diseases, what do you understand about them?”
Step 4
Listen to your teen. Show your teen a willingness to openly communicate with her so she feels comfortable enough to talk and be understood.
Step 5
Schedule another time for discussion. It is important to continue the conversation with your teen about sex. New information and influences evolve as time goes on and your teen may have additional questions or concerns.
Step 6
Stay involved with your teen’s life. Watch your teen’s emotional swings, pay attention to the way she dresses, and get to know her friends to spot problems early. According to Pregnancy Info, a sudden drop in grades is the first sign of trouble.
Tips and Warnings
- Address fiction with facts. Teens are exposed to all different types of false information from the media and their friends. Practice what you preach. Be aware of the unspoken messages you are sending. Be sure to clarify important points. Do not leave assumptions to chance, and use fact sheets when necessary. There is no data that supports the best age to address the topic of sex.
- Do not preach. Encourage an active and open line of communication so that your child feels comfortable expressing thoughts and feelings about sex. Discuss the consequences of sex without over-dramatizing them. Scare tactics fail to emphasize the truth. Do not judge your teen or any other person brought up during the conversation. Teens are sensitive to judgments and may feel judged by you.
Things You'll Need
- Anatomy fact sheet
- STD fact sheet
- Pregnancy fact sheet
- Abortion fact sheet
- Pen
- Paper
