There are three main types of relationship abuse--physical, sexual and psychological, although more than one of these types may coincide. Psychological abuse includes both verbal and emotional abuse. Psychologically abusive relationships follow well-defined patterns that can be recognized by those outside the relationship. It is important to be able to recognize the warning signs of an abusive relationship so that you can intervene if necessary.
Step 1
Learn to recognize the early warning signs of an abusive personality. Abusers tend to be quick to find fault with others, according to Dr. Steven Stosny, author and psychologist, and often unload their condemnation. Abusers also nurse resentments and cultivate a sense of entitlement that justifies every action they take, regardless of its effect on others.
Step 2
Look for excessive jealousy and possessiveness. Jealousy is a primary characteristic of an abusive relationship, according to Recovery Web, a website devoted to healing from addiction and emotional trauma. An abuser will often portray himself as motivated by a desire to "protect" his partner. Excessive jealousy is characterized by frequent false allegations of infidelity or flirting.
Step 3
Be alert to signs that your friend is being isolated by her partner. Emotional abusers often seek to isolate their partners from family and friends in order to maximize their influence. If a friend suddenly loses interest in seeing you or breaks off contact with you soon after entering a relationship, she may be getting emotionally abused.
Step 4
Take note of frequent breakups and reconciliations, because this is a pattern that is characteristic of both physically and psychologically abusive relationships. In advanced stages, the victim may get "addicted" to her abuser and find herself unable to permanently break off the relationship despite the abuse she has suffered.
Step 5
Watch for personality changes in your friend or loved one. Victims of psychological abuse suffer lowered self-esteem and are quick to blame themselves for things that aren't their fault, according to Stosny. They may also lie unnecessarily. Because lying is often necessary for survival in an abusive relationship, the victim may carry this behavior into other relationships, as well.
Tips and Warnings
- Seek community resources, such as an abuse hotline or support group, if you own efforts are failing.
- Exercise caution when trying to extricate a friend from an abusive relationship. Under some circumstances, an abuser may become violent against your friend and even you.
Member Comments
mike_d3869 September 27
what legal courses can someone take if they know someone they care about is in this type of relationship