Bringing a new baby into your family will elicit curiosity and hopefully excitement from the children who already are in your household. As with any big change, however, even kids who are well-adjusted will have questions and fears. Many parents worry about what—and how much—to tell their children about the process of getting pregnant, what is going on in mom’s body and the birth itself. Fortunately, you can let each child be your guide when providing the information and reassurance he or she needs.
Step 1
Ask each child what he thinks about pregnancy before you provide any information. This will help you figure out where to begin the conversation, advise Robin Goldstein and Janet Gallant in “The New Baby Answer Book.” For example, you can ask your child how he thinks the baby got inside of you. Some kids think eating too much or eating special seeds, for example, can lead to pregnancy, the authors say.
Step 2
Allow each child to ask questions before giving out pregnancy facts. This helps you gauge how curious your child is about the subject. Do not feel that you have to tell all of the facts at once, advise Goldstein and Gallant. Explaining too much, and doing this too soon, can confuse, frighten or upset your child.
Step 3
Ensure that you initiate the subject of your pregnancy as soon as you are visibly pregnant, if not before, according to Joanne Stone and Keith Eddleman, authors of “The Pregnancy Bible.” Your child might feel insecure as soon as she realizes another child will be added to the family. Reassure her that you will love her just as much when the new baby comes, and let her know that her new brother or sister will love her too. Cuddle with her and give her lots of smiles to help her adopt a positive attitude. Also let her talk and sing to the new arrival, help with important tasks and help decorate the baby’s room, advise Paula Ford-Martin and Elisabeth A. Aron in “The Everything Pregnancy Book.”
Step 4
Use a straightforward approach when you explain the physical facts of the pregnancy, Ford-Martin and Aron advise. Use proper terminology for body parts but minimize extremely technical information, such as how fallopian tubes work. Make it relevant to your child by using examples from when you were pregnant with him, such as the way morning sickness is affected you for a while before passing. If you are uncomfortable imparting such information, you can use a children’s book to help explain the mechanics of pregnancy and birth.
Step 5
Answer all of your child’s questions as your pregnancy progresses. Some kids will want to know how the baby breathes in your uterus, or how she eats. Keep the communication door open, and occasionally ask your child if he is wondering about anything, advise Ford-Martin and Aron.
Tips and Warnings
- Maintain a calm demeanor if your child becomes resentful or regresses in his own behavior. Point out the plusses associated with being a “big kid,” such as privileges they have, say Ford-Martin and Aron.
Things You'll Need
- Children's book on pregnancy
